Tag Archives: Mastin Kipp

5 Stages of Healing Emotional Trauma

After 10,000+ hours of client work and diving into the research, here are the 5 Stages of Healing Emotional Trauma:

1. Create a safe connection

2. Validate the emotional experience.

3. Empathize with those emotions.

4. Repaid the wound & set limits.

5. Transcend the trauma.

Safe relationships are containers for healing trauma.

Studies show that what is most traumatizing is not just what happened, but how we hold what happened afterwards.

In trauma-informed care we know that one of the automatic defenses to trauma is an isolation and immobilization response from the nervous system.

This is why so many survivors don’t come forward, or come forward decades later.

The body goes into a freeze and isolation response and automatically defends itself through remaining withdrawn and immobilized.

This is where trauma really takes it’s hold on survivors, when it is not shared and held alone for years or decades.

Safety and connection in relationship with others is how we heal.

It takes courage to bring your trauma into the light, on your timeframe, as you choose with whom you choose (a partner, therapist, friend, etc).

You are not alone.

You got this,
Mastin

*******

P.S. When you are ready, here are four ways that I can help you…

1. Get my best-selling book on trauma and purpose: Claim Your Power

My book, Claim Your Power is a 40-day journey to dissolve the hidden emotional trauma that keeps you stuck and finally thrive in your life’s unique purpose. Everything changes the moment you heal your trauma and find your purpose. Click here.

2. Join me at Return on Impact Live

ROI Live is a brand-new event experience that’s the fastest path to crate financial freedom with a degree, certification, education or passion. We’ll discover how your attachment patterns are blocking you from starting or growing your private practice or business (and how to overcome them). THEN, we’ll map out the next steps to creating an offer and serving your tribe like only you can. There’s nothing more powerful that being in a room with other people who want to change the world. Join us here.

3. FINALLY put aside the time your business or practice deserves

Join me at my P3 Immersion Experience in April and let’s spend a week getting your business up, running, unstuck and scaling. In this retreat setting, we’ll focus 100% on finally eliminating distractions and getting things done — get your IG page up and running, content created for your website, and more. You’ll get more done in one week than you have up until now. Just send me an email with “P3” in the subject line.

Click here to send me an email about P3.

4. Work one-on-one with me on your trauma and attachment patterns:

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, own a private practice or are a high functioning human and you’ve been wanting to coaching one-on-one with me, keep reading. I’ve spent the last decade and over 10,000 client hours working directly with people on their emotional trauma. This evidence based approach to coaching eventually led me to create Functional Life Coaching™, which is the only evidence based, trauma-informed coaching modality in the world. And along with FLC I’ve created the process of Trauma Hacking™ for high performers to get to the root of their emotional trauma and work quickly to turn their nervous system into their ally and help them achieve their goals automatically and with less stress.

Spaces are very limited.

Simply send me an  email with the headline “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll write you back with more details.

Click here to send me an email about private one-on-one coaching.

NOTE: please email me if you are SERIOUS and READY, WILLING and ABLE to do DEEP WORK and make a significant financial investment.

Does Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life Really Work?

The old idea that you can simply permanently change your thinking by deciding to has got to go.

Does re-framing work? Does replacing a “negative” thought with a “positive” thought work? Do affirmations work?

Yes, but…

Not how you may think.

Re-framing, challenging “distortions” in thinking and affirmations have their place, but to get permanent change, we need to go deeper.

You see, every thought, feeling and emotion has a purpose. It’s their for a reason.

And, there isn’t such a thing as a “positive” or “negative” thought or emotion. That context makes it seem like “positive” thoughts or emotions are “good” and “negative” thoughts or emotions are “bad”.

To suggest that “negative” or “distorted” thoughts aren’t accurate depiction of reality totally negates the purpose of these thoughts and feelings.

Why? Because they aren’t negative at all.

They are simply uncomfortable. They aren’t enjoyable. But they have a purpose.

To go beyond trying to modify the thought, we need to discover why the thought is there… and why it actually makes sense that the thought is there, based on your unique history and experience.

We never have a thought that doesn’t have a purpose.

Uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are typically either automatic survival responses based on past experience, or they are wise wake up calls that something needs attention.

So, while re-framing and challenging uncomfortable thoughts is important, we must also honor them and listen to them.

We must find out why they are there in the first place, where’d they come from? And what purpose are they serving? And does that purpose line up with our growth and our goals?

Then we must help the parts of ourselves that think this way start to feel safe to release those uncomfortable thoughts.

This is where Trauma Hacking™ Coaching comes in.

To get to the root cause emotional trauma that created all these thoughts in the first place.

So, to change your thoughts you’ve got to heal your trauma. That’s how you heal your life!

You got this!

Mastin

P.P.S. When you are ready, here are four ways that I can help you…

1. Get my best-selling book on trauma and purpose: Claim Your Power

My book, Claim Your Power is a 40-day journey to dissolve the hidden emotional trauma that keeps you stuck and finally thrive in your life’s unique purpose. Everything changes the moment you heal your trauma and find your purpose. Click here.

2. Join me at Return on Impact Live

ROI Live is a brand-new event experience that’s the fastest path to crate financial freedom with a degree, certification, education or passion. We’ll discover how your attachment patterns are blocking you from starting or growing your private practice or business (and how to overcome them). THEN, we’ll map out the next steps to creating an offer and serving your tribe like only you can. There’s nothing more powerful that being in a room with other people who want to change the world. Join us here.

3. FINALLY put aside the time your business or practice deserves

Join me at my P3 Immersion Experience in April and let’s spend a week getting your business up, running, unstuck and scaling. In this retreat setting, we’ll focus 100% on finally eliminating distractions and getting things done — get your IG page up and running, content created for your website, and more. You’ll get more done in one week than you have up until now. Just send me an email with “P3” in the subject line.

Click here to send me an email about P3.

4. Work one-on-one with me on your trauma and attachment patterns:

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, own a private practice or are a high functioning human and you’ve been wanting to coaching one-on-one with me, keep reading. I’ve spent the last decade and over 10,000 client hours working directly with people on their emotional trauma. This evidence based approach to coaching eventually led me to create Functional Life Coaching™, which is the only evidence based, trauma-informed coaching modality in the world. And along with FLC I’ve created the process of Trauma Hacking™ for high performers to get to the root of their emotional trauma and work quickly to turn their nervous system into their ally and help them achieve their goals automatically and with less stress.

Spaces are very limited.

Simply send me an  email with the headline “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll write you back with more details.

Click here to send me an email about private one-on-one coaching.

NOTE: please email me if you are SERIOUS and READY, WILLING and ABLE to do DEEP WORK and make a significant financial investment.

26 symptoms of hidden emotional trauma? Do you have any?

Emotional trauma is so very misunderstood… let me explain…

Here are a few symptoms of unresolved emotional trauma:

01. Anxiety

02. Depression

03. Insomnia

04. Shame

05. Anger

06. Fear

07. Hypervigilance

08. Perfectionism

09. Procrastination

10. Inability to achieve goals

11. Lack of empathy

12. Bullying

13. Self-doubt

14. Not feeling worthy

15. Imposter Syndrome

16. Self-harm

17. Thoughts of suicide

18. Lack of trust in people

19. Chronic Disorganization

20. ADHD

21. Oppositional Defiance

22. Bi-polar Disorder

23. Dissociative & Disorders

24. Personality Disorders

25. Chronic Illness & Pain

26. Addiction & Substance Abuse

Most people think that trauma is an event that leads to a physical injury.

And while that’s true, there’s so much more to it.

After 10,000+ client hours, diving into research, talking with all the experts and seeing the evidence of my own practice over the past decade, it’s so clear that emotional trauma is the root cause of so many issues we face today.

Emotional trauma is something that all humans have to one degree or another.

And, it’s the elephant in the room when it comes to approaches of healing both mental health disorders, chronic health issues, personal development and spiritual practice.

The trauma-informed approach seeks to discover the root cause of why you’re not able to move forward. Without a trauma-informed approach, all you’re focusing on is symptom management.

But, there is so much more available than simply managing symptoms.

Another important thing to understand about emotional trauma as a root cause for so many problems we face is that while emotional trauma is the explanation for all kinds of destructive behavior, it does not excuse the behavior.

To change a thing, we need to understand a thing.

So if we want equal rights, to end racism, sexism, misogyny, the income gap and the polarization of our nation… we need to approach the problem at it’s root cause. not at the symptom level.

Trauma denial is a big part of why we are still stuck both on a personal level and on a national/global level.

In your efforts to grow personally, seek a trauma-informed approach.

In your efforts for social justice, seek a trauma-informed approach.

In your efforts to take care of your family, seek a trauma-informed approach.

In your efforts to improve your own mental health, seek a trauma-informed approach.

When you heal your trauma, you heal your life.

When we heal our trauma, we’ll heal the world.

Big love,

Mastin

P.S. Wondering what my source is for all this information on symptoms of emotional trauma? Here it is. Powerful stuff.

P.P.S. When you are ready, here are four ways that I can help you…

1. Get my best-selling book on trauma and purpose: Claim Your Power

My book, Claim Your Power is a 40-day journey to dissolve the hidden emotional trauma that keeps you stuck and finally thrive in your life’s unique purpose. Everything changes the moment you heal your trauma and find your purpose. Click here.

2. Join me at Return on Impact Live

ROI Live is a brand-new event experience that’s the fastest path to crate financial freedom with a degree, certification, education or passion. We’ll discover how your attachment patterns are blocking you from starting or growing your private practice or business (and how to overcome them). THEN, we’ll map out the next steps to creating an offer and serving your tribe like only you can. There’s nothing more powerful that being in a room with other people who want to change the world. Join us here.

3. FINALLY put aside the time your business or practice deserves

Join me at my P3 Immersion Experience in April and let’s spend a week getting your business up, running, unstuck and scaling. In this retreat setting, we’ll focus 100% on finally eliminating distractions and getting things done — get your IG page up and running, content created for your website, and more. You’ll get more done in one week than you have up until now. Just send me an email with “P3” in the subject line.

Click here to send me an email about P3.

4. Work one-on-one with me on your trauma and attachment patterns:

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, own a private practice or are a high functioning human and you’ve been wanting to coaching one-on-one with me, keep reading. I’ve spent the last decade and over 10,000 client hours working directly with people on their emotional trauma. This evidence based approach to coaching eventually led me to create Functional Life Coaching™, which is the only evidence based, trauma-informed coaching modality in the world. And along with FLC I’ve created the process of Trauma Hacking™ for high performers to get to the root of their emotional trauma and work quickly to turn their nervous system into their ally and help them achieve their goals automatically and with less stress.

Spaces are very limited.

Simply send me an  email with the headline “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll write you back with more details.

Click here to send me an email about private one-on-one coaching.

NOTE: please email me if you are SERIOUS and READY, WILLING and ABLE to do DEEP WORK and make a significant financial investment.

Is there a gift in your anxiety symptoms?

Words are very powerful when it comes to how you feel.

Anxiety is a great example.

Just notice the word and how it feels to say it and read it.

The word itself can create anxiety for many.But, if you look at what anxiety actually is, it’s a physiological state made up of biochemical responses.

Anxiety is basically increased cortisol, adrenaline and blood glucose. There is also an increase in lactate. There are other components to the body’s “anxiety” response, but you get the idea.

Why does the body create more of these chemicals?

Because this cocktail of biochemistry gives you energy.

That’s it.

Why? Because you need energy in the presence of a threat to fight or flee.

And studies show that exercise, movement and long exhales reduce the symptoms of acute anxiety.

Why? Because the supply of energy your body gives you when you are “anxious” is meant to be used in motion to fight or flee.

When you don’t use up the energy provided to you by your body, bad things start to happen.

So, the answer for acute anxiety reduction is to start moving and use up your body’s energy supply. And afterwards, you can do intentional breathing with 80% of your breath is an exhale.

You can’t exhale and be in fight/flight at the same time.

If your inhales are longer than your exhales, you will active your bodies anxiety/energy responses and increase the feelings of anxiety/energy.

So, start moving & slow down your exhales for acute anxiety symptom reduction.

Your body is wise, and you are wise when you start to honor the responses you body has, instead of making them wrong.

Maybe you don’t have “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” – maybe you have a fuck-ton of energy and you’re making yourself wrong for it, instead of using it to make something.

PRO-TIP: for 10 days experiment w/ replacing the words anxiety and overwhelm with “energy” and notice how you respond.

For long term anxiety to be reduced, do Trauma Hacking™ work on your developmental & attachment trauma.

You got this!

Mastin

P.S. Interested in diving deeper into the root cause emotional trauma that’s holding you back? Click here to learn more about one-on-one Trauma Hacking Coaching with me. Spaces are limited.

References:
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Reference #3

Details for private One-On-One Trauma Hacking™ Coaching

Thank you for your interest in one-on-one Trauma Hacking™ coaching with me.

Read on for the details…

So, something interesting just happened….

About a month ago I sent out an email about working one-on-one with me if you are a rebel practitioner, coach, therapist, clinician, wellness entrepreneur or high functioning human and are looking for the edge in your business/practice.

The response was bigger than I could imagine and we couldn’t take everyone who applied.

But, that’s not the interesting part. The interesting part is that ever since I came out about the only trauma-informed, evidence based coaching process I created called Functional Life Coaching™ and Trauma Hacking™ – so many amazing souls have raised their hand and said “Mastin, I’ve done so much work on myself and I still feel stuck…”

There’s this sense that something deeper is needed, to get the the root cause of the inner blocks and emotional trauma that are holding you back.

These rebel practitioners know that by doing their own Trauma Hacking™ work, they can get even better results for their clients, in their business/practice and in their relationships.

Because, when you address the root cause, everything else starts to shift and change. One of the reasons why I closed down my one-on-one business many years ago is because I thought (perhaps incorrectly) that people weren’t ready to really dive deep. But I’ve been so overwhelmed (in a good way) with the response and desire to dive deeper that I decided to do a test last month to see if my intuition was correct about the willingness and readiness to do the deeper work.

And, to my surprise, last month we got a flood of applications. And, my schedule filled up with amazing souls and rebel practitioners who are ready for the one-on-one dive deep into their root cause trauma and start the healing process so that they can have the edge, get unstuck and make a greater impact.

Since I wasn’t too sure how it was going to go, I only opened a few spots to test the waters.

I’m so thrilled because this process has been so energizing that I’ve decided to open up just a few more one-on-one Trauma Hacking™ private coaching spaces.

Like I said before, the one-on-one Trauma Hacking™ experience is powerful, deep and will help you address the root cause that’s holding you back.

Because it’s one-on-one and it’s total focus on you, I only have a few spaces and the financial investment is significant.

So, if you are interested in a one-on-one Trauma Hacking™ experience with me, please send an email to hello(at)mastinkipp(dot)com with the subject “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll send you more details.

Or you can click here to send me an email.

One quick ask: please only send me an email if you are serious about taking the time to dive deep and making a significant investment in yourself.

So much becomes available when you dive in to the root cause of why you’re stuck.

If you’re ready for the one-on-one Trauma Hacking™ deep dive with me, just send an email to hello(at)mastinkipp(dot)com with the subject “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll send you more details.

I’m opening up just a few spaces, so make sure to be in touch quickly before the spots get filled up again.

It’s a real honor to be able to dive deep and help you get results faster, with less stress and more fulfilled results.

I’m looking forward to connecting with you and diving deep!

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real.

Your biggest supporter,

Mastin

P.S.

If you know anyone who has been looking to connect with deeper work, a more trauma-informed approach, please feel free to forward them this link. It might just change their life.

Let me re-introduce myself

It’s that time of year… the Holidays are winding down and the New Year isn’t quite here yet. It’s the in between.

And it’s natural this time of year to be reflective and start thinking about your goals and what you want to create in 2018. I know that’s what I’ve been doing.

2017 was a year of massive transformation for me, personally. It’s been about three years in the making… changing from “The Daily Love” guy… to doing what I do now, and I’ll tell you, it wasn’t easy to make the switch. Deep down, I always knew that I had something I wanted to contribute to the world, but it was scary to declare that, to own that… and then to claim it in the real world.

After The Daily Love blog became so successful, even mention by Oprah on Super Soul Sunday, I found it hard to let go of. But… the success wasn’t the real reason why it was hard to let go. The real reason was… it was easier to hide behind other people than to be the teacher, the coach and the person I was becoming.

The Daily Love blog had turned into high level coping and high level hiding. But, I had something else coming through me. It was what would become the Claim Your Power book and the process of Functional Life Coaching.

2017 was the year that both Claim Your Power and Functional Life Coaching were born, and me along with it. And that process has been a massive transformation.

I’ve come to believe that success isn’t about what I thought it was about. I used to think that success was doing what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted, as much as I wanted with whomever I wanted…

The big lesson for me in 2017 was that the true measure of success is how well you can heal your core trauma’s and then dedicate your life to being of service. Learning how to heal all the parts of myself that were still scared to be seen, still scared to be recognized, still scared to be rejected. While, at the same time, falling in love with the difference I was making and making my life more about helping others than it was about what I wanted.

What I wanted was to hide. To keep playing it safe. But what needed to happen was… I needed to step up, speak out and focus on serving other people with what my unique gifts were.

There was never a moment more sobering than that moment when Donal Trump became elected President. Not because of politics. But because I saw that Trump was a reflection of us. A reflection of our fear. A reflection of all the unhealed trauma’s of our country and our people.

My mission is to end emotional trauma in my lifetime. I don’t know if I’ll get there, but 2017 was the year that I delcared to myself, my Creator and life that I would not hide my gifts. I would not stay silent and I would not allow unhealed trauma to run amok without doing something about it.

That’s what Trump represents… he is the face of unhealed trauma. The unhealed trauma of the African Americans who ancestors were slaves that built this country and made a lot of rich white men… even richer. The unhealed trauma of the “Me, too” movement… where countless women and men have been assualted sexually and otherwise by people in power (a lot of them white men). The unhealed trauma of the Indigious People of the Americas who were pushed backed, killed and stole the land from as settlers.

And… the unhealed Truama that many white people still carry with them, which is the embedded shame they carry for our actions against so many marginalized people and the total fear that if a white person (ideally man) isn’t in charge, that we will fade into oblivion.

Trump is a sign of the times. A sign of the divide. A sign of the pain that we must heal as individual people, as familes, cities, states, a country and the world.

Trump is a wake up call. A call to listen to each other. To find common ground. To see how more alike we are than different. We must start to learn that we can only influence people that we listen to and try to understand… and dare I say LOVE.

All the pressures of the world, the unhealed trauma’s that are making their ways to the surface… demanded that I go all in. And that’s what I’ve done and what I will keep doing.

The reason why I’ve been silent on email and with the podcast is because I wasn’t sure what to do in today’s world.

Simply putting out more of the same content, without recognizing marginalized voices, without recognizing the struggle of so many today, without being able to talk about the elephan in the room… I wasn’t sure how to do it.

It’s taken some time, but I think I’m clear. You see, I am not “for” Republicans or Democrats. I am not for men or women. Black or white. All those things are just words we use to discuss and label our diffences.

What I’m “for” is one thing – the progress of the human spirit that dwellls within all of us. It’s in Democrats. Republicans. Men. Women. Black, white. We all have the same Spirit and the same Heart. And for all of us, that Spirit and that Heart is covered in unhealed trauma’s.

And we’ve gotten lost in the noise, forgetting who we are.

I had to find a way to reconcile in my mind how fast the landscape of our lives has changed and how to talk about it in a way that gets to the heart of the matters I care about, without choosing a side.

The only side I choose is truth. The only side I choose is freedom. The only side I choose to equality for all. The only side I choose is prosperity for all.

It took a lot of reflection and contemplation to get to this point. I’ve not been consistent because I haven’t had the words… I know that’s ironic for someone who is a professional speaker and author by trade.

But, these times are different. It’s a different context now. The same old stuff won’t work. And not talking about it… that won’t work either.

So, welcome back. I’m looking forward sharing more podcasts with you.

And… I am also looking forward to helping 2018 be the most abundant year of your life (so far). More on that later.

For now… Let me re-introduce myself.

My name is Mastin Kipp and I’m here to help you cut through the BS, get to the heart of the matter. Together, I’ll help you choose truth, choose freedom, choose quality for all and choose prosperity (this includes yourself). Together, we’ll work as a team to help you speak up for what matters most to you, to learn how to listen to those you disagree with and how to cut out all the distractions and heal all the unhealed traumas of your life that are keeping you stuck… and live a life of Purpose.

It’s nice to meet you.

Just surrender.

What do you do when there’s nothing left to do?

Surrender. I don’t know about you, but January was a month that was butt kicking. So, I’m deciding to start my year over as of February 1st, you with me?

Jenna and I just moved, so between that and running a business and travel, it’s been a hectic month.

My word for today: surrender.

Surrender is an important tool in your personal growth tool belt. At the end of the day, we can try, argue and fight – but we must surrender. Surrender is not the same thing as giving up. It’s about giving into your greater destiny, calling and purpose.

This is a powerful concept because many times we think we have to go it alone. Or that we have to have all the answers. But that’s not the case. You never walk alone, and it’s important to leave space for greater guidance to come into your life.

Once you’ve watched this episode, leave a comment and let me know who or what you are going to surrender today. And – if you’ve had success in this area leave a comment to let us know how you did it.

Together, we can grow into who we are meant to me.

Big LOVE,

Mastin

The challenge of the modern day woman.

In a recent PEW Study, “A record 40% of all households with children under the age of 18 include mothers who are either the sole or primary source of income for the family, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of data from the U.S. Census Bureau. The share was just 11% in 1960.”

This is BIG news for women. Our community is 93% women, so this is GREAT news for all of us today. This is something to celebrate.

It’s amazing that just over 50 years ago, only 11% of household earners were women. Now it’s quadrupled to 40%!  It’s no surprise to you or me that the women of today are more empowered, kicking butt financially and also really starting to show us men how to do things.

If you’ve been paying attention at all to what’s happening today, the dawn of women’s empowerment is here and here to stay.

But, what’s fascinating is the second stat that the PEW Study found out:  “These ‘breadwinner moms’ are made up of two very different groups: 5.1 million (37%) are married mothers who have a higher income than their husbands, and 8.6 million (63%) are single mothers.”

Hold up. 63% of these amazing women are single.

So. Not only are women kicking butt today, they are doing it without a man.

This is a new world that we live in. There are many benefits to this new world. I believe that the feminine has been so suppressed for so long, that the rise of the power woman in today’s world is a necessary part of mankind’s evolution to a more evolved and loving world.

The masculine running wild is not a good thing, and for far too long over the course of human history, the beauty, power and flow of the feminine has been kept down.

There’s just ONE thing that I want to point out.

As awesome as it is that women are kicking butt, and as much as you and I both know that by these stats they certainly don’t need any help from a man – I’m curious, how many of these women are truly fulfilled?

Many women from our generation were raised to believe that they don’t need a man. And by these recent stats, it seems that this belief is correct.

Or is it?

One of the things that’s happened as a result of the newly empowered woman, is that many, many, many women I know and have come into contact with have started to believe that being powerful means just being masculine and suppressing their feminine side.

Now, we all have masculine and feminine energy. And of course women can rock it at work and earn. This is now the new norm.

But, when it comes to ultimate fulfillment at home and in matters of the heart, there is massive gender confusion.

What is rewarded in the modern day women at work – that masculine powerful energy – which allows her to have financial power and freedom, will not work in a relationship with a masculine man.

This problem is pervasive. Women who crave a masculine partner are being rewarded for masculine behaviour in the workplace nad punished for it in their relationships.

I see it every day. POWERFUL and I mean POWERFUL women that inspire the heck out of me, but are so POWERFULLY MASCULINE that they are single and can’t figure out why. The masculine mask keeps them from getting their feminine needs met.

Just because being masculine at work rewards you with financial power does not mean that this same energy will reward you with Love in a relationship with a masculine partner.

For the women’s empowerment movement to come to fruition, there is a slight adjustment that has to occur.

Women must remember that being feminine and free is not weak. Vulnerability and intuition is not weak. And even though they don’t “need” a man, wow – wouldn’t it be great to have one anyway?

We are built for relationship. Connection. Partnership. Not because the other person “completes us” but because we all yearn to share this life with a person, we love and who love us.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with the single, empowered female. I am the first one to be cheering them on from here. And I also know that we are creatures built for relationship and no amount of power or money can replace or fulfill the heart.

The power of feminine energy far surpasses the power of the masculine. The flow, the intuition, the beauty are necessary parts of life.

My great hope is that as the women of today become more and more empowered, and continue to outearn and outperform many of the men of our time, that they remember that they can be the warrior at work, but if they truly want their king – they must transform into their feminine essence at home.

This is the new challenge of the modern day woman. And I am here FULLY to support this cause.

To all the powerful ladies out there, stay powerful, stay amazing and stay vulnerable – trust me, it looks GREAT on you!

To your empowered Self both masculine and feminine!

All my LOVE,

Mastin

Is there a spiritual lesson in being cheated on?

image

A client asked me recently to write about cheating in romantic relationships.

This is a touchy subject because it stings so much. I’ve experienced the pain of cheating first hand, and I can tell you I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

All a relationship is, after all, is two people learning how to trust one another. Trust is the foundation of everything else. Without trust, there isn’t a relationship.

When cheating happens, that trust is shattered. And it’s very hard to get it back (not impossible).

There are different perspectives on cheating. For me, it’s a deal breaker. For my therapist, she has seen many a couple work through it and come back even stronger.

There’s no right or wrong way to look at it, but there is a deeper lesson inside the painful act of cheating that I’d like to speak to.

I’ve worked with many clients who have been cheated on in different ways: sexually and emotionally.

Sexual cheating is when you have sex outside the relationship. It’s the physical act of cheating.

Emotional cheating seems innocent, but in many times, it’s worse. It seems innocent because there is no physical, sexual act. It’s all in your head.

But we humans are energy beings and can feel when things are off. When you are emotionally in love with someone else, or just flirting with them in a major way, this can be more devastating than the physical act many times.

Because intimacy is not meant for someone other than your partner, and this can be a real blow.

After working with so many people who have experienced cheating, there’s a common trend that I’ve noticed.

One question I asked them all is “How long before the cheating started did you feel unsafe in your relationship?”

The answer is always, “a long time” and for many the answer was “I never felt safe in our relationship”.

I believe that our body and intuition can feel a person’s true intentions on this matter long before the physical act happens.

Almost every time, when I asked my clients, “What would have done if feeling safe in your relationship was a priority” – most of the time they tell me that they wouldn’t be in the relationship in the first place, or they would be setting the bar higher.

So, I’m going to say something that might seem a little crazy and perhaps controversial – but bear with me for a moment. Keep an open mind.

What if being cheated on is a wake-up call to trust and value yourself? What if the physical act of being cheated on is an external reflection of how you’ve cheated on yourself.

That is to say, you knew something was off, you didn’t feel safe, you knew you deserved better: but you did nothing.

What if ultimately the spiritual lesson of cheating is this: trust thyself.

What if you made feeling safe more important than anything else?

Many people who I work with admit that in a relationship where’s there’s cheating, safety is not a common experience. It doesn’t have to be some huge overt level of feeling unsafe; it could be subtle.

But, there’s always a disturbance in the force. And it is we who need to get smart and trust that.

I’m hoping that you aren’t reading this blog right now and thinking, “Great, so I’m to blame for them cheating?”

That’s not the takeaway. Human beings are responsible for their actions. This blog does not justify or make right what happened, but it can help you learn the lesson.

Trusting yourself, being firm with what you need in a relationship and what you deserve, these are all very valuable lessons. And the sting of cheating comes bearing the gift of this lesson if we can learn it.

Lots of LOVE,

Mastin

MastinKipp.com

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