If you’ve been on my list for a while, you know that I love leading retreats all over the world.
Just a few short years ago, creating international retreats in mystical places like Bali, Maui or Ibiza seemed like it was impossible.
Why? I felt stuck. And stuck is a nice way to say I felt dead inside. No movement. No momentum.
But, I figured out how to get unstuck, and the results have been game changing for me. And, I’ve been blessed to share this wisdom with thousands of my clients all over the globe.
The results? Game changing.
If you’re feeling stuck, this week’s coaching video is for you. Getting unstuck gets you on the path to living your purpose and from there, synchronicity happens, life opens up, you get into the flow and magic is possible.
Want to get unstuck? Let’s begin.
You see, there’s a reason you’re stuck. And it’s not your fault. After working with thousands and thousands of clients, I’ve seen the same pattern emerge as to why they are stuck.
It doesn’t matter if you want to move forward and create more financial abundance, or if you want to create a business, find a job that you love, create love and passion or have a healthy body.
The mechanism that keeps you stuck is the same.
In this week’s video, I share with you what that mechanism is and how to break free from it.
Learning this one skill has radically transformed my life and the lives of my clients.
Now, it’s your turn. Let’s take that step together today.
After you’ve watched this week’s episode, leave a comment and let me know how you are going to apply this week’s lesson. Without action, nothing will change. Take action by leaving a comment and then begin your process to get unstuck, now.
All my LOVE,
P.S. If you know someone who is stuck, forward them this blog. It may just be the exact thing they need to hear to move forward in their life. What a wonderful gift that would be.
A client asked me recently to write about cheating in romantic relationships.
This is a touchy subject because it stings so much. I’ve experienced the pain of cheating first hand, and I can tell you I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
All a relationship is, after all, is two people learning how to trust one another. Trust is the foundation of everything else. Without trust, there isn’t a relationship.
When cheating happens, that trust is shattered. And it’s very hard to get it back (not impossible).
There are different perspectives on cheating. For me, it’s a deal breaker. For my therapist, she has seen many a couple work through it and come back even stronger.
There’s no right or wrong way to look at it, but there is a deeper lesson inside the painful act of cheating that I’d like to speak to.
I’ve worked with many clients who have been cheated on in different ways: sexually and emotionally.
Sexual cheating is when you have sex outside the relationship. It’s the physical act of cheating.
Emotional cheating seems innocent, but in many times, it’s worse. It seems innocent because there is no physical, sexual act. It’s all in your head.
But we humans are energy beings and can feel when things are off. When you are emotionally in love with someone else, or just flirting with them in a major way, this can be more devastating than the physical act many times.
Because intimacy is not meant for someone other than your partner, and this can be a real blow.
After working with so many people who have experienced cheating, there’s a common trend that I’ve noticed.
One question I asked them all is “How long before the cheating started did you feel unsafe in your relationship?”
The answer is always, “a long time” and for many the answer was “I never felt safe in our relationship”.
I believe that our body and intuition can feel a person’s true intentions on this matter long before the physical act happens.
Almost every time, when I asked my clients, “What would have done if feeling safe in your relationship was a priority” – most of the time they tell me that they wouldn’t be in the relationship in the first place, or they would be setting the bar higher.
So, I’m going to say something that might seem a little crazy and perhaps controversial – but bear with me for a moment. Keep an open mind.
What if being cheated on is a wake-up call to trust and value yourself? What if the physical act of being cheated on is an external reflection of how you’ve cheated on yourself.
That is to say, you knew something was off, you didn’t feel safe, you knew you deserved better: but you did nothing.
What if ultimately the spiritual lesson of cheating is this: trust thyself.
What if you made feeling safe more important than anything else?
Many people who I work with admit that in a relationship where’s there’s cheating, safety is not a common experience. It doesn’t have to be some huge overt level of feeling unsafe; it could be subtle.
But, there’s always a disturbance in the force. And it is we who need to get smart and trust that.
I’m hoping that you aren’t reading this blog right now and thinking, “Great, so I’m to blame for them cheating?”
That’s not the takeaway. Human beings are responsible for their actions. This blog does not justify or make right what happened, but it can help you learn the lesson.
Trusting yourself, being firm with what you need in a relationship and what you deserve, these are all very valuable lessons. And the sting of cheating comes bearing the gift of this lesson if we can learn it.
Question for you: what’s the most important part of any relationship?
It’s not about quality time, date nights, what you have in common or if you are both paleo.
There’s one part of any relationship (romantic or otherwise) that is the *key* to unlocking love, respect, feeling seen, feeling heard and getting your needs met.
What is it?
When Jenna and I lead our relationship retreats or seminars that teach on the topic of relationship, one of the reasons why we can save many relationships is because we understand that at the core of every relationship problem is one thing: communication.
We help people feel heard and seen by their partner and help their partner feel heard and seen as well.
It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship or want to have a better relationship with any person in your life – you’ve got to master this one communication tool.
After working with thousands of people, we’ve been able to see certain patterns that create unnecessary anger and resentment, and we can take the leap today to help you avoid this pattern and create communication flow in all your relationships.
Here’s your plan for today:
1. Know that any relationship you’re in that is having issues is probably not from a lack of love, but rather a lack of communication. 2. Love yourself for knowing #1. 3. Watch my video 4. Leave a comment below this blog and let me know how you are going to implement what you’ve learned today and how this new “aha” will improve the quality of your relationship(s). 5. Pass this blog on to anyone you know who could use some help in this area of their life. You might just change their life.
Make it a great day and know that you can have love, empathy, connection and safety in your relationships. When you learn how to communicate – you set yourself to get your needs met and to also meet the needs of those whom you love the most.
All my love,
Hi and welcome to Claim Your Power TV with your host Mastin Kipp, where each week I guide you to live your purpose with passion! This week I’m going to share with you a communication tool that has saved countless relationships.
We get people coming to us for all kinds of issues and problems that they want us to solve. And one of them is relationship problems, relationship issues. They’re usually romatic, however, relationship issues can be relationships with bosses, partners, romantic partners, friends – it doesn’t really matter. But we’ve had people come to us who were on the brink of divorce and said, “This retreat or this seminar or this coaching program is our last ditch effort. If we can’t make it work here, we’re done. Our marriage therapist is telling us to get a divorce. Mastin and Jenna, can you help?”
I know that’s like a tall order. It’s like oh my gosh and feels like a lot of pressure, but what we’ve found is that primarily, especially in masculine/feminine relationships, male/female relationships – this is not just for heterosexual relationships, this is also for lesbian and gay relationships. There is a masculine and a feminine quality in ALL relationships. Those energies attract each other. But the communication tip is this:
Do you really understand what the other person is saying and what they mean by what they say?
You might think that men and women, masculine and feminine creatures, are speaking the same language – English, right? But they’re not. Masculine people can use the exact same words as feminine people and mean something completely different.
So here’s a really great example we use all the time with our clients. These two words: I’m fine. If you’re a feminine person and you say, “I’m fine,” what does that usually mean? Does it mean you’re fine? Nope! It means, “Hey you! Ask me more questions. I had a bad day,” or something like that. That’s the deeper meaning. However, if you ask a masculine person, “How are you doing?” and he says, “I’m fine,” what does he mean? He literally means I’m fine. There’s no deeper meaning, there’s no need to psychoanalyze; he’s fine.
But here’s what’s interesting. It’s the same words, isn’t it? I’m fine. However, completely different meaning because masculine/feminine communication has two different modalities of working. The feminine communication is about connection, about curiosity, and not about solving problems. All the feminine wants is to be asked questions, to go deeper, to really connect with and mirror her. So what happens is you have a feminine person who is going so deep in connection and the masculine person tries to interrupt with trying to solve a problem, but that’s not what the feminine person wants. The feminine person wants you to go, “Tell me more. What do you mean by that? Go deeper, go deeper, go deeper. Tell me more, tell more more, tell me more.” And then to mirror back what she’s saying, “So what I’m hearing you say is this, this and this.” And then to identify with it and to say something like, “You know what? That must be really frustrating. That must be really difficult. What can I do to help?”
If you can understand the meaning of feminine communication is connection, to not interrupt her communication until she asks you about you and turns it back over, reflect back what you’re hearing her say and then empathize with her and say, “That must be frustrating. That must be hard. What can I do to help?” it’s going to dramatically change your relationship.
And the same thing is true for the masculine communication. When you ask a masculine person questions, they give literal responses. And so it’s really important for you when the masculine person says something after you ask a question, what you say is, “So what do you think about this?” and he says, “I think x, y and z.” And then your response will be, “So what I heard you say was…” and repeat back what you heard them say and go, “Is that true?” to clarify because our brains, the masculine/feminine, male/female brains are wired differently. There is different meaning with different brains even though they use the same words.
So it could go something like this: The feminine person says, “Hey, where would you like to go for dinner?” and the masculine person says, “Hey, can we talk about this later? I’m busy right now.” And the feminine person might get all defensive and say, “Well why can’t we talk about it now?” and then there’s a fight. Versus, “Hey honey, when you said, ‘Can we talk about it later?’ what I heard you say is I’m not important. Is that true?” And of course the answer is no, but it helps you out your feelings.
So if we can start to understand the communication differences between the masculine and the feminine and that the masculine communication is logical and literal and the feminine communication is illogical and communication-based, GAME CHANGER!
And if you can mirror back what you’re hearing them say with empathy versus trying to inject with a fight, it is a game changer for your relationship. This advice has SAVED marriages! I am not exaggerating. This advice has saved marriages, it’s saved relationships, and it will bring you tremendous joy and prevent massive amounts of pain if you can learn to practice this advice.
So you might be watching this video over on YouTube or over on Facebook. I invite you to come on over to TheDailyLove.com and below this video leave a comment. How are you going to communicate moving forward with your masculine/feminine partners? Who can you share this information with? Sometimes your partner doesn’t want to hear it from you. Send them this video. I will tell them for you, okay? Share this video. But let me know how you’re going to communicate differently. If you’re the masculine partner, how are you going to say ‘tell me more’ and empathize? And if you’re the feminine partner, how can you really honor what they think and reflect back, “Hey, what I heard you say was this. Is it true?” without taking it personally because he thinks in a very logical way. This communication style works for heterosexuals, transgenders, gays, lesbians – it doesn’t matter. There is no segregation here. It’s the way in which communication works.
Also, please feel free to subscribe to us on YouTube so that you can get immediate updates as soon as I upload a video. Please head on over to TheDailyLove.com and enter your name and email address so that I can give you email updates that I only send through email. And most importantly, and as always here at Claim Your Power TV, my deep wish is for you to get out there, take action and make it real. I’ll see you next week!