When you find yourself in an argument, it can be hard to figure out who’s right and who’s wrong.

And, typically, it’s very easy to defend your position and in the process, work to make the other person’s position wrong.

Wars, divorce, betrayals…. and all kinds of painful human experiences are caused by the unwillingness to be wrong.

One of the most mind-blowing truths…. that it may be hard to comprehend… is that everything someone else has does…. was done because at least some part of them believes that there is a positive motive for their behavior.

It’s VERY easy to reject this idea… and bring to mind the most violent, cruel or abusive behavior and say… “What about THIS…” And… the answer is… YES…. even people who did THAT had a partially positive intention for their actions.

And… most likely that positive intention is survival.

They thought that on some level, their behavior would help them survive.

The problem is… survival is not the sole purpose of life.

Yes, each of us must get to a level where our basic needs are taken care of.

And, until we can get there, it’s VERY difficult and almost impossible to consider the effects of our actions on others.


Because if we consciously (meaning we KNOW IT) or unconsciously (meaning we DON’T KNOW IT CONSCIOUSLY) believe that our survival is threatened…. then our fight/flight/flee response kicks in and we focus on taking care of ourselves, first.

It’s a basic human nervous system response. And, it makes sense.

If we cannot survive, then we are not safe. If we are not safe, then we will die.

Thus… when we are in this contracted place… we will defend our “rightness” and do whatever we can to prove their “wrongness” because on a level of survival… being “wrong” is equated to death.

So, people who have hurt you in the past did so because on some level… most likely an unconscious level… they believed that that behavior would ward off a threat and help them survive.

It makes no conscious sense… but when we get into the unconscious and deep patterns of the human nervous system, we see that when we are traumatized, when we are in fight or flight, when we are in any kind of survival trance… our first and most automatic response is one of survival… even at the expense of others.

Thus, we cannot solve the problems that this survival only thinking brings from that same place of survival. We must find a solution based on higher emotional states or states of “consciousness.”

This is what Einstein meant when he said, “You cannot solve a problem on the same level of awareness that created it.”

Thus, the solution to every problem is not making “them” wrong, but in raising YOUR emotional state.

Which means that the fear you see in the world, the hate you see in the world… the anger or the lack that you see in the world… are actually emotional states that you are experiencing within your own self.

Which means that the work for you is not just “OUT THERE” but first and foremost “IN HERE.”

If you want to help marginalized people, then work to heal parts of yourself that feel marginalized.

If you want to help the world step out of economic lack, then work to heal the parts of yourself that are lack-oriented and step into abundance.

If you wish to end the xenophobia in the world, then work to heal your own xenophobic wounds so that you can love those that hate you.

If we could but focus on healing in ourselves the pain we see in the world, then the world would be in less pain.


Because at the end of the day… the only person who can make the choice for you to get better is YOU.

And this is true for the billions of people on the planet. Yes, we must work to make the world a better place. And, YOU are a part of the world.

So, if you want to make the world a better place, start with healing you own inner world. From there, you will have more and more power to create positive change in the outer world. World peace…. solving world hunger…. solving the polarization and xenophobia… will not come from systems outside of you… rather… the solutions to what you see in the world must start within you.

When we heal the internal conditions that are the root cause of the external problems we see, the external problems will dissolve away on their own accord.

If you want to heal the world, start with healing yourself.

And as you heal and improve your own emotional state… you will have greater and greater power to help others do the same.

Heaven on Earth is indeed and inside job.

Don’t wait for the world to go first… it’s YOUR job to lead the way.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!