Category Archives: Blog

How To Get The Love You Want

LOVE… it’s one of those topics that has all kinds of excitement, desire, pain, hurt, confusion and mystery surrounding it.

And let me be clear because LOVE has so many meanings…

I’m talking about romantic love.

How do you get it? How do you keep it? How do you make it last?

For context… let me be clear… Jerry McGuire got it wrong… those three words he uttered ruined an entire generation of romantic expectations.

“You complete me.”

The only “thing” that completes you is your Creator. And… not even that is 100% true… what truly completes you is discovering your purpose and then living it each day.

First, you must know that you are a whole, complete and perfectly made being who does not need another person to complete you.

You are whole as you are.

Also know that the purpose of your life is not to be in a relationship, in fact… it’s the other way around.

When you find your purpose… love will find you.

You see – if you are looking for someone out there to complete you… if you think that someone else if your purpose… then you are setting yourself up for a rollercoaster of emotion and a lot of pain.

Why?

Because no person can perfectly love you.

We all have flaws… we all have unresolved hurt and trauma from the past… we all get scared… we all mess up.

And, if the other person is on the hook for your happiness…well that is the fastest way to kill romance.

Many times, people stop doing the very thing that made them attractive in the first place.

They give up a passion, or a goal/career and settle into the relationship.

It’s vital to understand that NO ONE can “make” you happy… except, of course… you.

So… questions for you:

1. Who, outside of yourself, have you assigned the power to make you happy?

2. How are they falling short in making you happy?

3. How can you start to take responsibility for making yourself happy, instead?

4. How can you let them off the hook for your happiness and instead thank them for all the good they do bring to your life?

5. What passions/gifts/goals did you give up that you were pursuing before?

6. What is one step you could take today to pick up your passion and get back to what makes you happy?

These questions are great if you are in a romantic relationship or not.

Remember… the purpose of your life is not a relationship… but a great relationship is an extension of your purpose.

Nothing is more attractive than someone who is doing what they love and is living their purpose.

Today, focus back on your purpose and do what makes you come alive….

…romance will follow.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

live your purpose to make this world a better place

Are you ready to stop worrying about money and start getting your financial needs met effortlessly?

Keep reading..

I’ve been talking a lot lately about living your purpose and how important it is.

Why?

Because discovering your purpose and bringing it to life is the most important work of your life.

Abundance follows your purpose.

Love follows your purpose.

Success follows your purpose.

Financial security for your loved ones follows your purpose.

When you discover your purpose, you connect to a power and an idea larger than you… and your Purpose is the one thing that improves everything.

BUT – there’s one important distinction.

Bringing your purpose to life is not a logical process.

And, it’s not a process that you can 100% plan ahead for.

It’s a mystery. It’s a discovery process.

And, it’s a journey.

When you start to feel the stirring of your purpose calling you forward into your life, you are being called by an undiscovered part of yourself.

You are being asked to grow, to mature, to take responsibility for how you use your power and you are being asked to have even more faith in your Creator.

Perhaps the greatest leap you will need to take in your mindset is that as you bring your purpose to life… as you start to serve others and solve problems… you will be provided for.

If you just focus on serving others… falling in love with solving a problem you see in the world…

Then you will be provided for.

The greatest leap of faith your purpose is asking you to take is to surrender the neurotic desire to survive and place your survival into the hands of your Creator.

And… for YOU to keep your focus firmly on how you can help others.

Simply put… if you make it your focus to take care of God’s children… then God will take care of you.

Another way of saying this is… life supports what supports life.

You knew this was the true nature of reality when you were born… perhaps you didn’t have words for it.

Perhaps you didn’t know exactly how to phrase it… but a part of you knew that when you bring your purpose to life and focus on serving others… that you have earned effortless survival.

This isn’t to say that you don’t need to be mindful, smart and strategic.

But, I am saying that you can be confident that all your needs will be met – as you focus on serving others.

Also, remember… YOU are also a child of God… and so make sure to include taking care of yourself as you focus on taking care of God’s children.

You know you are close to the path of your purpose when your ideas for the next phase of your life don’t make logical sense… when you are being called to do something that you’ve never done before… when you have no idea what to do next.

Why are you called to a purpose that is outside of what you believe is your current skill set?

Caroline Myss has the perfect answer.

She says that we are called into new territory because it’s a pathway that does not have any scar tissue from the past on it.

Meaning… you do not have to do a significant amount of healing in the direction that you are being called in before you can be of service… you can get to work right away.

The more emotional weight you have… the longer you have to wait to get going.

So… trust your visions.. know that you are being called to a bright and beautiful new purpose and do your best to calm and surrender your fears each day… and focus on taking simple/small courageous action steps each day.

Surrender your fear…. and defend your intuition.

That’s the goal. Instead of surrendering your intuition and defending your fear.

God doesn’t call the qualified… all are called… but God does qualify the called… and that includes YOU.

YOU are being called to live your purpose, to make this world a better place and to step into a larger level of being that you are currently living.

The reward for taking this leap is abundance, love, success and taking care of your loved ones.

The price you must pay is the surrendering of your fear of survival and a focus on falling in love with solving the problems of the world.

From that place… no one… and nothing can touch you.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

do you have the power for your life’s purpose?

Power – it’s what you need to make anything happen… a dream, a vision… your life’s purpose.

But, what is power?

Let me explain…

Power is having enough energy to be able to direct your will, your choices and your actions to bring your greatest visions to life.

You can only have this level of power if you are focused in the present moment.

If you are harboring past hurt and focused on the past, you have less power in the present moment.

If you are worried about the future and are focused on the worst case scenario of what “could” happen, you have less power in the present moment.

The past is meant to be a teacher of wisdom, not a teacher of fear.

The future is meant to be a canvas for your dreams, not a canvas for your nightmares.

While it’s true that you cannot change the past, it is true that you can change how you relate to the past.

And, when you change how you relate to the past – you automatically change the future and what’s possible.

It all comes down to the present moment.

How are you spending your power?

Are you worrying about the future? Which is the same thing as planning to manifest your fears.

Are you holding on to the past? Which is the same thing as reliving it over and over again in the present moment and future.

Or, are you here… now… focused on listening to and being obedient to your intuition?

Do you have faith in your fear or faith in your purpose?

Are you planning and rehearsing the worst case scenario?

Or are you making conscious choices to bring the vision for your purpose to life?

How you direct your focus will determine the reality that you create.

If you are too attached to the past, you limit the power you have in the present to create anything new.

If you are too worried about the future, you have no power in the present to course correct.

Work to bring your awareness, your focus and your attention to the present moment and tap into your highest vision of your life.

Then, get about the business of bringing your vision and your purpose to life.

You have that power… if you but harness it on a daily basis.

May your internal authority of your life become more powerful than any external force and may you be faithful to your purpose, for it will never lead you astray.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

So, you think you’re not creative?

Life is a process of creation… whether or not you are aware of that fact does not matter.

And, because life IS creation and YOU are a part of LIFE, you are also a part of that creation… which means that you must be like what you came from… which means that YOU are creative.

Now, before you tell me why you think I’m wrong… pause for a moment and settle into the idea that YOU are a creative being.

It doesn’t mean that you are Basquiat or van Gogh… don’t think of it in a such an extreme way.

More it’s like this… Right now… you are creating your day.

Your beliefs form your emotions; your emotions form your thoughts and your thoughts form your behaviors.

Your beliefs, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are filters through which you see the world.

When you hear a news report that you don’t like, when someone says something that you don’t like on social media… when you feel inspired, jealous, happy, sad, joyful or otherwise… here’s the big secret.

You are not experiencing LIFE in those moments… the thoughts, stories, emotions, and beliefs you are experiencing are YOU.

So, right now… what you are feeling is YOU.

And… you ARE creating your experience at this moment… and you are doing it consciously (meaning that you are aware of what you are creating) or unconsciously (meaning that you are unaware that you are creating this moment).

The goal of your life is to discover and reveal all the ways you are unaware of that add to your current experience of life.

This includes the stories, emotions, beliefs, etc. that are in you right now… forming this very moment.

If you have a pain in your body, doctors like to do Xrays or other forms of research to see what’s going on inside.

When this happens, they can determine the best next course of action.

And – doctors who are on the cutting edge, Functional Medicine doctors, not only look for “what’s wrong” but they are also focused on getting to the root cause of what’s wrong and fixing that.

You cannot fix an internal health problem with a symptoms-based approach alone.

You must take a root cause based approach so that you can get to the source of the problem.

As it is for your physical health, the same is true for your mental, emotional and spiritual health.

You don’t know if your body being overweight is because of a fatty liver or because you are in a soul-sucking job that keeps you stressed out going to town on sugary foods.

Or – maybe it’s both.

You are in a soul-sucking job, which causes stress, which causes you to eat sugary foods, which causes fatty liver.

So, the question becomes – why are you still in the job if it’s killing you?

If you aren’t in a soul-sucking job, then view what I am saying metaphorically.

Many times, we are in situations that we think are just related to our physical health, but as we are learning more and more each day, mental/emotional/physical and spiritual health are one in the same.

There is no separation.

So, consider today… that perhaps the deeper root cause of your stress, your stuckness, your tiredness, your problem… isn’t just physical/mental or emotional… maybe it’s also spiritual.

If you are not creating what you are meant to create each day… that is a spiritual crisis… which leads to repression… which leads to depression… which leads to all kinds of other issues.

So, today… I’m asking you are very simple question as a “second opinion”…

Are there any gifts, creations, ideas, inspirations or projects that you’ve been wanting to do for a long while now that you aren’t expressing?

If so, email me back and let me know what they are.

And… when would NOW be the right time to get started on this project? (ahem…. NOW).

What would be your first action step to get going?

Reply back and let me know.

You are a creative being, born from creation itself… who has come here to give us something special, unique and that can only come through you.

Don’t give up to the project… give in to your vision and get busy bringing it forward….

And – if you aren’t 100% sure what it is… that’s okay… just take the next step… and the next step after that… Just focus on today… and your next step…

How do you eat a whole field of Kale?

One bite at a time.. Take one step… one bite today.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

Have you been putting your Purpose on the back burner?

Recently I was coaching a woman who shared that she wanted to live her purpose by starting her own business, but she was procrastinating on it.

She came to me to find out why.

After a couple of questions, it became clear why: she viewed moving forward in her business as a threat.

I had to find out why a part of her believed that her success was a threat.

After a couple more questions it became clear why: a part of her didn’t believe that her husband would support her in her purpose.

When she found this out, she was shocked and at the same time not surprised.

She “knew” in her mind that he would support her.

But her body, her unconscious mind, and her Survival Patterns™ were telling a different story.

Her SP’s told her that she made a promise to take care of her husband and that if she lived her purpose, she would be abandoning him.

So, the deeper truth was revealed. She wasn’t “procrastinating” on her purpose… she was trying to protect her husband.

Her big AHA moment came when she realized that, under good intentions, she was making her husband small… and she was not allowing herself to be supported.

All this because she was scared to allow her “real self” to be seen.

She admitted that she was, in fact, hiding behind the “good intention” of taking care of her husband.

Her SP’s had tricked her to believe that the only way for her to survive and to be loved was to put herself and her purpose on the back burner and only focus on taking care of her husband.

And while this seems like good intentions, not living your Purpose has massive consequences.

Resentment builds. Anger builds. You feel invisible.

You feel stuck, frustrated and you blame others for it.

Here’s the truth: it’s time that you allowed yourself to be supported.

And – the only way to do that is to identify what YOU need and then ASK for it.

And, when you ASK for it, you will see who in your life truly cares for you.

This can be a scary moment of truth, but it’s one that you must create in order to bring your purpose to life.

If you didn’t get support as a child, if you weren’t made to feel like your needs matter, if you are unsure of what you need… that’s okay.

Take some time to be still and ask yourself what you need.

What do you need today?

What do you need in your romantic relationship?

What do you need in your finances?

What do you need in your business?

It is a wonderful thing to take care of others, but it’s utter betrayal to your Soul to take care of and try to control others at the expense of your own purpose.

Take your hands off the wheel a little bit and recognize that you don’t have to hold everything together – that’s God’s job.

Your job is to discover your Purpose and bring it to life.

Nothing is more important than that.

Trust that as you bring your Purpose to life, you will be supported, that you do matter and that at this moment all your needs are met.

Do not hide behind the good intentions of taking care of someone else… you own them your happiness and that happiness can only come from your Purpose.

If you really want to love those around you… become who you’re meant to be and give them the space and encouragement to do the same.

Honesty time: have you been putting your Purpose on the back burner?

Be rigorously honest with yourself… and then reply back to this email and let me know… how are you putting your Purpose on the back burner and what are you going to do right now to turn it around?

I can’t wait to hear from you.

Let’s take your Purpose off the back burner and make it a priority…

That’s how to magic happens!

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

How To Get Your Goals To Happen Faster

What’s the best way to help allow your goals to happen faster?

Just goal setting? No.

Just a vision board? No.

Just a prayer? No.

Just a visualization? No.

Maybe there’s an app for it? Not yet.

What’s the answer? It’s simple… but not easy.

The quickest way for you to allow your goals to happen faster is to become aware of the fear in your body when you think about your goals and release it.

Bringing your attention to, feeling and then allowing your fears to release is a powerful practice.

This idea has been talked around in many different ways…

Some call it detachment…

Some call it allowing…

I call it something a little different…

Surrendering your emotions.

Now, it’s important to understand that this does not mean giving up, or not caring about life or any of that.

However, the goal is to become aware of the emotions in your body and then simply allow them to be there, without the need to change them.

Also, you want to get in touch with what these emotions mean.

Does it mean you are angry? Or that they betrayed you? Or that you are never going to have enough?

What if you could surrender the meaning you’re giving this emotion… allow the label to drop and simply just let it be a sensation in your body?

When you allow the emotion to come into your awareness and then passover you… it no longer controls you.

You can think of this as detachment… but it’s more than that. It’s actual acceptance… It’s an allowing of your body to feel however it feels – without it needing to mean something.

When you can experience the emotions and sensations in your body without giving them a meaning… and allowing them to pass, not having to change a thing…. in yourself or others… that is when you will go to the next level.

Without knowing it, you are creating the very circumstance that you’re afraid of.

To resolve this quickly… to help your goals manifest faster… allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling today without the need to label it, give it a meaning or having to change anything.

When you surrender the meaning… you take the blocks off of the progress of your life and step into a greater outcome then you can now imagine.

This is what let go and let God really means…

So – how fast you make something happen is in direct proportion to how quickly you can accept and release the fears you have with it coming to life…

Question: today, what feeling will you allow and surrender the meaning of? Reply back and let me know…

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

find the “sweet spot” to manifesting abundance

Abundance.

We’re told it’s a birthright.

We’re told it’s the nature of the Universe.

We’re told that we can attract abundance.

But, I speak with many people who are left asking…

“How?”

If you’re wondering about the “how” of abundance you’re not alone.

When you aren’t sure “how” to manifest abundance, it’s easy to read the books, do the meditations and still come up empty handed.

You might feel like this abundance everyone is talking about is easy for them… but not you.

Abundance becomes a “hope” or a “wish” and not something that you actually experience.

This can be disheartening and can create more feelings of let down and disappointment.

And, ultimately you won’t set an example for your loved ones, children, clients or the world.

It doesn’t have to be that way…

There is a “sweet spot”… that when you find it… is the key to manifesting abundance.

There are four “must” to find your abundance sweet spot:

1. You must dedicate yourself to discovering your purpose and bringing it to life.

2. You must clearly define what abundance is for you.

3. You must pursue solving a problem that you are excited to solve.

4. You must take daily CIA (courageous, imperfect action).

You see – abundance truly is a by-product of your purpose.

Just as you cannot get electricity without being plugged into an electrical source, you cannot create abundance without being plugged into your life’s purpose.

When you discover your purpose and bring it to life, than is when true abundance begins to materialize in your life.

Next – you must define what abundance is for you.

Each person has a different definition of abundance.

Is abundance just being able to wake up in a healthy body?

Is abundance having a family?

Is abundance reaching 1,000,000 online?

Is abundance having a billion dollars?

Make sure that YOU clearly define what abundance is for you.

And hint: make it easy to feel abundant… because when you feel abundant, you tend to attract more abundance.

Next, abundance is not something that you “deserve”.

It’s something that you tap into when you solve the problems of the world.

So, find a problem that you can fall in love with solving and then go work to solve it.

Hint: the bigger the problem, the bigger the abundance.

Abundant resources will flow to those who solve problems.

Finally – you’ve got to take risks.

Abundance won’t come if you need 100% certainty before you get started.

You’ve got to be…

Courageous – meaning… taking steps that scare you.

Imperfect – meaning… you’re doing it messy.

Action – meaning… you are in motion and not just talking about it.

When you dedicate your life to discovering your purpose and bringing it to life…

when you define what abundance is for you…

when you fall in love with solving a big problem…

and then each day you take scary, messy and consistent action…

you are well on your way to being your “sweet spot” for abundance.

So… reply back and tell me:

1. How are you working towards your purpose?

2. What is abundance for you? How do you define it?

3. What is a big problem you are falling in love with solving?

4. What is your courageous, imperfect, messy action today and every day forward?

And may abundance be yours!

Here’s to you in your sweet spot… may it fee like this when you get there…

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

New Year’s Resolution Check In… How ya doin’

As I write this to you, it’s a Monday in September.

A few things are crossing my mind…

1. Where did 2017 go?

2. Where will 2017 go?

3. How will I bring my best self to the second half the the year?

I love/hate New Year’s Day.

I love it because for a moment in time – almost the whole world is united and focused on the future with optimism, there is a sense of internal reflection on collective goals, there is an awareness of the gap between where we are and where want to be… and there are intentions/plans/resolutions made to change.

I love that part.

But, the part that I don’t love is that for most people, New Year’s Resolutions are just hopeful wishes that they tell themselves.

They don’t follow through. I spend the rest of my year in the same contemplative state… internal reflections on my goals, being aware of the gap and creating plans and putting those plans into action.

It’s a daily thing. Not an annual thing.

So, as we step into July, as we welcome mid-Summer I find myself looking towards the end of 2017 and asking the question – how do I want to arrive on January 1st?

This time of year is marked with parties, vacations, travel and takin’ it easy.

Yes, there’s lots of hard work to do… but summer comes with the expectation of relaxation… with time off from school, time to relax.

And relax we will. But… only in the spirit of recovering maximum energy to keep our purpose and our mission.

I love viewing times of the year that most people slow down as especially awesome times to accelerate.

While everyone else is winding down, taking it easy…

I love to be focused on what matters most:

My Purpose… bringing it to life and helping you do the same.

So, as I wake up this Monday in July, I’m filled with thoughts of follow through.

Or re-doubling my efforts to make the most out of 2017, so that when I arrive on the doorstep to 2018, I arrive ready, willing and in motion on what matters most.

When it comes to what matters most, that is a unique answer for each person.

I’m not telling you what I think you should make matter most.

All I’m saying is… figure out what matters most to you and then focus on it unwaveringly.

Re-double your efforts. Re-focus. Re-tool. Re-start.

And follow through. 2018 will be here in a snap, how do you want to arrive on it’s doorstep?

Let’s start 2018 with a bang and cheers-ing your epic end to 2017!

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

the need to be right

There is one bad habit human beings have that hold them back from living the life they want – and it’s something that we all have in one form or another.

What is this dream blocking bad habit?

It’s the need to be right. Imagine how free your life would be if you didn’t need to be right.

What if you didn’t need to be right in disagreements? What if you didn’t need the last word? What if you didn’t need to get other people on board with how you think things should be? What if you could give up the need to be right?

So much time and precious energy is wasted on the need to be right.

Human beings have an addiction to being right.

The question is, why?

The survival programming in us believes that if we admit we are wrong, then we will die.

It sounds insane when it’s put that way, but it’s true.

Think about the last disagreement or argument you had… and be honest, did you need to be right?

Did you need to have the last word? Did you really listen, or did you wait for your turn to speak and interject your opinion and manipulate the facts so that you were “right.”

Being right – when that need is there… and you are triggered… is never operating from a place of true power.

The need to be right is the need of the limbic survival system.

What if you didn’t need to be “right” in the eyes of others?

What if you could win an argument by allowing the other person to be “right”?

What if you could simply listen to what others have to say and attempt to step into their experience and understand it, even if you don’t agree with it?

You can understand how and why someone feels the way they do without agreeing with them.

And, a funny thing happens when you simply listen to someone and empathize with their experience (which is not the same thing as agreeing)…

The fight tends to end.

The disagreement tends to die down. The tension goes away.

How can you do this?

First, calm yourself down.

Go for a walk.

Meditate.

Take a yoga class.

Calm down your nervous system.

Then, set your intention to simply listen to whomever you are in a disagreement with.

Get curious about their experience without agreeing or trying to fix anything.

Ask questions about why they feel this way and try to get to the underlying emotion.

Then, repeat back what you heard them say… using their words and ask if you missed anything.

They may clarify and share more… then reflect that back.

This simple listening exercise… and surrendering the need to be right will create positive change in all your relationships.

You don’t need to fix them. You don’t need to fix the problem. You don’t need to be right.

Just listen.

Set your intention to understand. Get curious. Ask questions. Dive deeper. Reflect back what you heard.

And – you can understand how someone is feeling…. without agreeing with them.

And, you can agree they feel and believe what they do, without agreeing with the conclusions they’ve come to about why they feel that way.

They are their own person.

And so are you.

Needing to be right is a strategy that will leave you alone… and without any meaningful relationships.

Cultivating an ability to listen and empathize is a master skill when it comes to be successful in love and in life.

Are you ready to give up the need to be right?

What positive changes could happen if you did?

Reply back and let me know.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

How to Reach Your Goals Faster

From time to time we all feel stuck.

It’s normal.

Life is a series of expansions and contractions.

Life is a series of trying, making mistakes, learning from your mistakes and trying again.

For you to get to that next level in your life… one of the skills it’s vital to learn is how to be patient with yourself.

It’s common to think “I should be further along by now…”

No matter how far along you are, the feeling that you “should” be further can be familiar.

So, what do we do with the idea or feeling that you “should” be somewhere else?

What do we do with the feeling that you feel stuck where you are?

The first step is compassion and patience with yourself.

What you’ve got to understand about being stuck is that it’s not all bad.

In fact, there are some upsides to being stuck.

Consider that when you are stuck… you’ve also stopped going in the “wrong” direction.

This is to be celebrated!

Also consider that you may actually not be stuck… you may actually be going in the right direction after all… but it’s just not going as fast as you want.

And, one of the ways you slow down your progress is by reaffirming that you feel stuck, even though… perhaps you aren’t.

Do not confuse speed with progress.

You can be going very fast in the wrong direction.

It’s far better to be stuck than going quickly in the wrong direction.

And – it’s far better to be going slowly in the right direction than to be stuck.

So, perhaps you’ll see that you aren’t stuck at all.

You are actually making meaningful progress in a new direction in your life.

But… it’s just going a little slower… and that’s okay.

Do not confuse going slowly with thinking you will never arrive at your ultimate destination.

Many times… one act of Grace… one act of courage…. one act of Faith in the direction of your Purpose can create more positive change than thousands of attempts to stressfully go fast in the wrong direction.

Choose progress over perfection.

Choose patience over impatience.

Choose to see this is a delay, not a denial.

Choose to decide you are exactly where you should be.

Choose to see the support that is literally at your finger tips.

Choose to be kind to yourself as you are learning new things.

Choose courage every day.

What if you aren’t stuck? What if you’ve stopped going in the wrong direction?

What if that is a good thing? What if you are on the edge of a massive breakthrough?

Keep going… you have no idea what tomorrow will bring.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!