Tag Archives: trauma

5 Stages of Healing Emotional Trauma

After 10,000+ hours of client work and diving into the research, here are the 5 Stages of Healing Emotional Trauma:

1. Create a safe connection

2. Validate the emotional experience.

3. Empathize with those emotions.

4. Repaid the wound & set limits.

5. Transcend the trauma.

Safe relationships are containers for healing trauma.

Studies show that what is most traumatizing is not just what happened, but how we hold what happened afterwards.

In trauma-informed care we know that one of the automatic defenses to trauma is an isolation and immobilization response from the nervous system.

This is why so many survivors don’t come forward, or come forward decades later.

The body goes into a freeze and isolation response and automatically defends itself through remaining withdrawn and immobilized.

This is where trauma really takes it’s hold on survivors, when it is not shared and held alone for years or decades.

Safety and connection in relationship with others is how we heal.

It takes courage to bring your trauma into the light, on your timeframe, as you choose with whom you choose (a partner, therapist, friend, etc).

You are not alone.

You got this,
Mastin

*******

P.S. When you are ready, here are four ways that I can help you…

1. Get my best-selling book on trauma and purpose: Claim Your Power

My book, Claim Your Power is a 40-day journey to dissolve the hidden emotional trauma that keeps you stuck and finally thrive in your life’s unique purpose. Everything changes the moment you heal your trauma and find your purpose. Click here.

2. Join me at Return on Impact Live

ROI Live is a brand-new event experience that’s the fastest path to crate financial freedom with a degree, certification, education or passion. We’ll discover how your attachment patterns are blocking you from starting or growing your private practice or business (and how to overcome them). THEN, we’ll map out the next steps to creating an offer and serving your tribe like only you can. There’s nothing more powerful that being in a room with other people who want to change the world. Join us here.

3. FINALLY put aside the time your business or practice deserves

Join me at my P3 Immersion Experience in April and let’s spend a week getting your business up, running, unstuck and scaling. In this retreat setting, we’ll focus 100% on finally eliminating distractions and getting things done — get your IG page up and running, content created for your website, and more. You’ll get more done in one week than you have up until now. Just send me an email with “P3” in the subject line.

Click here to send me an email about P3.

4. Work one-on-one with me on your trauma and attachment patterns:

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, own a private practice or are a high functioning human and you’ve been wanting to coaching one-on-one with me, keep reading. I’ve spent the last decade and over 10,000 client hours working directly with people on their emotional trauma. This evidence based approach to coaching eventually led me to create Functional Life Coaching™, which is the only evidence based, trauma-informed coaching modality in the world. And along with FLC I’ve created the process of Trauma Hacking™ for high performers to get to the root of their emotional trauma and work quickly to turn their nervous system into their ally and help them achieve their goals automatically and with less stress.

Spaces are very limited.

Simply send me an  email with the headline “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll write you back with more details.

Click here to send me an email about private one-on-one coaching.

NOTE: please email me if you are SERIOUS and READY, WILLING and ABLE to do DEEP WORK and make a significant financial investment.

Does Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life Really Work?

The old idea that you can simply permanently change your thinking by deciding to has got to go.

Does re-framing work? Does replacing a “negative” thought with a “positive” thought work? Do affirmations work?

Yes, but…

Not how you may think.

Re-framing, challenging “distortions” in thinking and affirmations have their place, but to get permanent change, we need to go deeper.

You see, every thought, feeling and emotion has a purpose. It’s their for a reason.

And, there isn’t such a thing as a “positive” or “negative” thought or emotion. That context makes it seem like “positive” thoughts or emotions are “good” and “negative” thoughts or emotions are “bad”.

To suggest that “negative” or “distorted” thoughts aren’t accurate depiction of reality totally negates the purpose of these thoughts and feelings.

Why? Because they aren’t negative at all.

They are simply uncomfortable. They aren’t enjoyable. But they have a purpose.

To go beyond trying to modify the thought, we need to discover why the thought is there… and why it actually makes sense that the thought is there, based on your unique history and experience.

We never have a thought that doesn’t have a purpose.

Uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are typically either automatic survival responses based on past experience, or they are wise wake up calls that something needs attention.

So, while re-framing and challenging uncomfortable thoughts is important, we must also honor them and listen to them.

We must find out why they are there in the first place, where’d they come from? And what purpose are they serving? And does that purpose line up with our growth and our goals?

Then we must help the parts of ourselves that think this way start to feel safe to release those uncomfortable thoughts.

This is where Trauma Hacking™ Coaching comes in.

To get to the root cause emotional trauma that created all these thoughts in the first place.

So, to change your thoughts you’ve got to heal your trauma. That’s how you heal your life!

You got this!

Mastin

P.P.S. When you are ready, here are four ways that I can help you…

1. Get my best-selling book on trauma and purpose: Claim Your Power

My book, Claim Your Power is a 40-day journey to dissolve the hidden emotional trauma that keeps you stuck and finally thrive in your life’s unique purpose. Everything changes the moment you heal your trauma and find your purpose. Click here.

2. Join me at Return on Impact Live

ROI Live is a brand-new event experience that’s the fastest path to crate financial freedom with a degree, certification, education or passion. We’ll discover how your attachment patterns are blocking you from starting or growing your private practice or business (and how to overcome them). THEN, we’ll map out the next steps to creating an offer and serving your tribe like only you can. There’s nothing more powerful that being in a room with other people who want to change the world. Join us here.

3. FINALLY put aside the time your business or practice deserves

Join me at my P3 Immersion Experience in April and let’s spend a week getting your business up, running, unstuck and scaling. In this retreat setting, we’ll focus 100% on finally eliminating distractions and getting things done — get your IG page up and running, content created for your website, and more. You’ll get more done in one week than you have up until now. Just send me an email with “P3” in the subject line.

Click here to send me an email about P3.

4. Work one-on-one with me on your trauma and attachment patterns:

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, own a private practice or are a high functioning human and you’ve been wanting to coaching one-on-one with me, keep reading. I’ve spent the last decade and over 10,000 client hours working directly with people on their emotional trauma. This evidence based approach to coaching eventually led me to create Functional Life Coaching™, which is the only evidence based, trauma-informed coaching modality in the world. And along with FLC I’ve created the process of Trauma Hacking™ for high performers to get to the root of their emotional trauma and work quickly to turn their nervous system into their ally and help them achieve their goals automatically and with less stress.

Spaces are very limited.

Simply send me an  email with the headline “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll write you back with more details.

Click here to send me an email about private one-on-one coaching.

NOTE: please email me if you are SERIOUS and READY, WILLING and ABLE to do DEEP WORK and make a significant financial investment.

26 symptoms of hidden emotional trauma? Do you have any?

Emotional trauma is so very misunderstood… let me explain…

Here are a few symptoms of unresolved emotional trauma:

01. Anxiety

02. Depression

03. Insomnia

04. Shame

05. Anger

06. Fear

07. Hypervigilance

08. Perfectionism

09. Procrastination

10. Inability to achieve goals

11. Lack of empathy

12. Bullying

13. Self-doubt

14. Not feeling worthy

15. Imposter Syndrome

16. Self-harm

17. Thoughts of suicide

18. Lack of trust in people

19. Chronic Disorganization

20. ADHD

21. Oppositional Defiance

22. Bi-polar Disorder

23. Dissociative & Disorders

24. Personality Disorders

25. Chronic Illness & Pain

26. Addiction & Substance Abuse

Most people think that trauma is an event that leads to a physical injury.

And while that’s true, there’s so much more to it.

After 10,000+ client hours, diving into research, talking with all the experts and seeing the evidence of my own practice over the past decade, it’s so clear that emotional trauma is the root cause of so many issues we face today.

Emotional trauma is something that all humans have to one degree or another.

And, it’s the elephant in the room when it comes to approaches of healing both mental health disorders, chronic health issues, personal development and spiritual practice.

The trauma-informed approach seeks to discover the root cause of why you’re not able to move forward. Without a trauma-informed approach, all you’re focusing on is symptom management.

But, there is so much more available than simply managing symptoms.

Another important thing to understand about emotional trauma as a root cause for so many problems we face is that while emotional trauma is the explanation for all kinds of destructive behavior, it does not excuse the behavior.

To change a thing, we need to understand a thing.

So if we want equal rights, to end racism, sexism, misogyny, the income gap and the polarization of our nation… we need to approach the problem at it’s root cause. not at the symptom level.

Trauma denial is a big part of why we are still stuck both on a personal level and on a national/global level.

In your efforts to grow personally, seek a trauma-informed approach.

In your efforts for social justice, seek a trauma-informed approach.

In your efforts to take care of your family, seek a trauma-informed approach.

In your efforts to improve your own mental health, seek a trauma-informed approach.

When you heal your trauma, you heal your life.

When we heal our trauma, we’ll heal the world.

Big love,

Mastin

P.S. Wondering what my source is for all this information on symptoms of emotional trauma? Here it is. Powerful stuff.

P.P.S. When you are ready, here are four ways that I can help you…

1. Get my best-selling book on trauma and purpose: Claim Your Power

My book, Claim Your Power is a 40-day journey to dissolve the hidden emotional trauma that keeps you stuck and finally thrive in your life’s unique purpose. Everything changes the moment you heal your trauma and find your purpose. Click here.

2. Join me at Return on Impact Live

ROI Live is a brand-new event experience that’s the fastest path to crate financial freedom with a degree, certification, education or passion. We’ll discover how your attachment patterns are blocking you from starting or growing your private practice or business (and how to overcome them). THEN, we’ll map out the next steps to creating an offer and serving your tribe like only you can. There’s nothing more powerful that being in a room with other people who want to change the world. Join us here.

3. FINALLY put aside the time your business or practice deserves

Join me at my P3 Immersion Experience in April and let’s spend a week getting your business up, running, unstuck and scaling. In this retreat setting, we’ll focus 100% on finally eliminating distractions and getting things done — get your IG page up and running, content created for your website, and more. You’ll get more done in one week than you have up until now. Just send me an email with “P3” in the subject line.

Click here to send me an email about P3.

4. Work one-on-one with me on your trauma and attachment patterns:

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, own a private practice or are a high functioning human and you’ve been wanting to coaching one-on-one with me, keep reading. I’ve spent the last decade and over 10,000 client hours working directly with people on their emotional trauma. This evidence based approach to coaching eventually led me to create Functional Life Coaching™, which is the only evidence based, trauma-informed coaching modality in the world. And along with FLC I’ve created the process of Trauma Hacking™ for high performers to get to the root of their emotional trauma and work quickly to turn their nervous system into their ally and help them achieve their goals automatically and with less stress.

Spaces are very limited.

Simply send me an  email with the headline “PRIVATE COACHING” and I’ll write you back with more details.

Click here to send me an email about private one-on-one coaching.

NOTE: please email me if you are SERIOUS and READY, WILLING and ABLE to do DEEP WORK and make a significant financial investment.

How You Can Turn Trauma Into Power

Big topic today.

(And a few cuss words, so be warned…)

I read an email from Tonya W. who said:

“I’ve been following you for a while now, and your messages & content have always been super real & resonated with me on a deep level. But the thought of actually emailing you never crossed my mind.

I suppose I have an inferiority issue (he’s so busy & well-known he’ll never reply), but I decided to say fuck it today.

Emails from you have literally been exactly what I’ve been dealing with.

My deadly 3:

1) Opioid addiction

2) Abuse

3) Comparison & not good enough.

I just decided to surrender & take the synchronicity & run with it!”

Tonya goes on to ask a really powerful question:

“Is it possible to help others while YOU, yourself are still healing? I’d love to coach. Help others with addiction & empowerment. I’ve had coaches, but it was difficult when none could ‘relate’ or sometimes even empathize with what I’ve been through. I guess really; I’d just love to hear your thoughts. I really value your opinion!”

So, first things first, Tonya… this is really me… I really read your email, and this is NOT an April Fool’s joke.

This email is for you.

I should also share that Tonya mentioned she is clean and sober and our of a toxic relationship now for five years.

And second – congrats! Sobriety is the #1 most important thing.

Keep working your program and keep doing all the things that got you here, still one day at a time.

I’m so happy you’re sober Tonya.

And, let’s dive into your question.

What I love about this question is that it is full of integrity.

The idea that I must be healed before I heal others is true.

However, we must define “healed.”

My hunch is that what you meant was…

“Must I be FULLY healed before I can help others…? Is there a perfect amount of healing where I will be “enough” to actually coach?”

The answer is… no.

I would suggest banning the thoughts of “fully,” “totally” and “completely” from your mind.

This thinking seems like it’s a high standard, but it’s actually perfectionism in disguise.

I think it’s a very righteous thing that you want to do a great job for your future clients and make sure that you do right by them.

However, the arrival point you are asking about does not exist.

When you are one day sober, you have one day more than the addict who is still suffering. Part of the 12 Step Program is to help others and be of service.

And, I would much rather you extend a helping hand to someone who needs it, who isn’t sober yet, but needs that hope, than to wait.

You see, as you make progress, think of yourself on a continuum. The people “ahead” of you are your mentors, and the people “behind” you are your clients.

What I mean is this…

You always have a chance to serve.

There is always an opportunity to help others.

Don’t wait until you feel “enough” because we never quite get there.

In fact, when you serve others, that is how you expedite your own healing.

One of the most amazing things about doing what I do is that I get to learn from my clients, I get to grow.

When you step into serving others in the way that you are asking about… your work, your business is also your therapy.

I think it’s amazing that you’ve sought out mentors Tonya.

No one does it alone.

When you mentioned that you didn’t feel like you could relate to certain coaches, that’s okay.

There are plenty of teachers and plenty of clients.

There is more than enough to go around.

You are getting clearer and clearer on the values you have as a client, and this is helping you get clear on the values you will have as a coach.

The trauma that you’ve been through is a big deal.

And, what’s an even bigger deal and super powerful is that you are choosing to turn that trauma into power, that hurt into service and you have a strong desire to serve others.

What’s even more powerful is that the trauma that you’ve been through has given you empathy and a certain understanding about what it feels like to go through what you went through.

This makes you especially qualified to serve others who have been through what you’ve been through.

Your experience, your strength, your resilience and your results are enough to help someone else right now.

Don’t wait. People are in pain. People need your help.

And it’s not always obvious.

Many times the people who are in the most pain suffer quietly and never share what’s going on on the inside.

I recently had a colleague of mine take her life. It shook our community.

You never know what people are going through, even someone who you think has it all together.

Your desire to be a coach is rooted in the desire to serve others.

Follow that desire and keep your eyes peeled for who God sends you each day to serve.

When you focus on serving others, you will have more than enough confidence to help them.

And… keep your education going. Invest in yourself.

The best coaches have a coach. The best coaches have a mentor.

Keep sober. Keep doing the work. Keep serving others.

Education is important.

But you don’t need any more education to start making your difference right now.

So, start now. And keep growing.

The world needs you, Tonya.

I’m so proud of you.