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turning negative energy into creative works of Love

“The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.”

– Carl Jung

I love me some green juice.

Especially if it has a low sugar and high fiber content and is mega-alkaline.

Yum.

Better cholesterol numbers. Reparing muscles. Digestion. Skin glow. Preventing disease.

Green juice can help improve your health in so many other well-documented ways.

I even have a fancy juicer called Juicero (that makes raw, cold-pressed juice at home, with no mess).

And, just this morning at about 5:30 am had my first green juice of the day.

So, I looooove me some green juice.

But, here’s the thing. Green juice is not enough.

Neither is wearing spiritual or religious garb. Or going to yoga. Or eating GMO-free food. Or going to see a healer. Or getting blessed by someone named “Baba” or “Ji” or “Saint,” etc. It’s not enough to use spiritual words.

It’s not enough to meditate. Or change your name to a spiritual name. It’s not enough to have a vision board. And it’s not enough to leave the outcome and destiny of your life up to “whatever happens, happens and is meant to be.”

And for the love of all things Holy… it’s not enough to blame MERCURY IN RETROGRADE!

If you want to make real progress, real growth and experience a life of true freedom… there’s one thing that we must do above all else to get there.

Ready? You aren’t going to like it.

But, it’ll be good for you.

And like Mary Poppins said, “A spoon full of sugar (or stevia) helps to medicine go down.”

So, before I tell you what it is… let me give you some sugar (or stevia).

Everything you really want is on the other side of this.

ALL the good stuff. All of it.

The love. The money. The recognition. The impact. The freedom. All of it.

Ready?

You’ve got to become aware of emotions you’ve been ignoring, feel them and allow them to pass (without judgment or judgment of your judgment).

Then, they must be witnessed in a productive way by others (not the venting, misery loves company way), no.

They must be witnessed, validated and then released.

The goal is not merely to go from the repression of emotions to letting them out (and making yourself feel better at the cost of hurting others).

The goal is to, like any infestation, identify the root cause and then neutralize them.

And after neutralization, the goal is to turn all that negative energy into creative works of Love.

I am not suggesting you ignore your negative emotions.

No. We must bring them up.

But we must also allow them to pass over and through us without clinging to them. Only then will you be able to step into the life you want.

As much as I love me some alkaline, cold-pressed green juice, that green juice ain’t gunna do this for you.

Neither is your Astrologer. Or your life coach.

They can help you, but they are all guides pointing you within. You’ve got to do the darn work!

Choose mentors who help you get through this process and not linger on negative emotions for too long.

When we waste time repressing and looping negative emotions, we commit a slow form of suicide.

And, this kind of repression and blaming others is “normal”.

The world is where it is today because we are in an epidemic of repressed emotion that does not have a healthy and productive outlet.

So we vent on social media and blame the other side for an emotional reality that is self-created.

You can make the world a better place by doing your work, and then helping others do theirs.

There is a great, big, wide open future ahead for you. Don’t settle for the slow death of normal.

The true nature of the Universe is abundant, full of Love and ready to assist you to step into your unique greatness.

Notice your unfelt feelings. Let them pass without judgment. Share them in a sacred circle of a trusted tribe.

And then start taking action to turn this energy into creative acts of Love.

And remember to start with that Love aimed at you.

You deserve it, too.

You can choose to grow yourself up, mature the wounded (not broken) parts of you and to step into your unlimited potential.

Or, you can join the walking dead who are unconscious of their negative emotions, blame others for why they are there and never experience the AWE of their true Self.

Sound like a judgment?

It’s not.

This is fact.

If that sentence up there hit a nerve, good! It mean’s I’m speaking to the part of you that knows it’s true. Witness that emotion and see what happens when you don’t react to it, but instead let it pass.

What’s underneath it?

You don’t fear life. You fear emotions.

Love your emotions no matter where they are today. Let them pass. Share them with sacred intent. And then turn them into a force for good.

Each experience, each moment is a choice – am I going to heal or am I going to hold on to these negative emotions?

It’s never to late to make a new choice.

If you kind of like (even though you would never admit it) holding on to negative emotions, know this…

The cost of chronically hanging on to negative emotions is nothing short of your best life, your unique purpose and the abundance that you seek. It’s a slow death.

That’s quite a price to pay for an emotion you don’t even like feeling.

Today, let’s play a bigger game and let it go.

Your greatness is waiting.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

free yourself of negative feelings

“Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

– Joseph Campbell

Apathy is the by-product of settling for and re-affirming your smallness.

Did you miss the memo?

Who you are. Your Soul. Your essence. Your true nature… is SO MUCH BIGGER than this.

Let go of the addiction to negative feelings.

YOU are the source of your experience.

Not The President. Not the media. Not “the other side.”

You are the source of how you feel. The cost of blame is your own freedom. Don’t let anyone take your freedom away.

You think you’re free?

If the sight or mention of someone’s name… angers you, causes you to react… causes you to stop being kind… you are not free.

You are a captor to your own unwillingnes s to accept yourself and your emotions. And feel them without judgment.

And look at the deeper truth of what’s going on inside you.

That deep, scary, powerless place.

Don’t blame others for your unwillingness.

If you truly believe in the freedom and liberty, then first start by freeing yourself from blame, the addiction to negative emotions and step into who you are meant to be.

The ONLY way to fight back is with LOVE.

Not roses and flowers and all that airy-fairy nonsense.

I’m talking about Martin Luther King, Jr, Gandhi, Jesus Christ kind of Love.

Love with a CAPITAL L.

Fight strongly for what you believe. Stand up to intolerance. Push back against bigotry. But do it with a firey LOVE in your belly.

And don’t let anyone steal your peace of mind and your unalienable rights to feel alive, free and pursue happiness.

To live in a free society, then free yourself from this blame cycle and then help others do the same.

Otherwise, you are just trapped in a trance.

Ignite the fire of Love in your belly, stop resisting your negative emotions, allow them to wash over you and then let your higher, wiser and more intuitive Self emerge.

From that place, you will find answers with POWER.

You will find solutions with GRACE, and you will know EXACTLY what to do to create JUSTICE for all those who are marginalized.

We need your best Self today.

Give us all you’ve got.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

Embrace being unique

“Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world…if you do so, you are insulting yourself.”

― Bill Gates

Truth: you are uniquely made.

If you want to make God cry, then compare yourself to others.

It’s not what you do that makes you unique.

It’s not how well you keep up with your friends.

And it’s certainly not how happy you “appear” to be on social media.

What makes you unique is your Soul, how you respond to adversity and your ability to contribute to the lives of others.

There is an essence about you that no one else has.

To compare yourself to others is to deny your own magnificence.

To deny your own magnificence is to cut yourself off from your Purpose.

To cut yourself off from your Purpose is to live a life of regret.

The qualities that you admire in others, as well as the qualities that make you envious, are unexpressed parts of yourself seeking expression.

The way that you express love, empathy, connection, success and joy will be only yours to express.

If the path that you’re on is well worn, then you are on someone else’s path.

Dedicate yourself to carving your own path.

Follow the subtle whispers of your Soul that say… “What if you tried this…?”

Know that your unique gifts are forged in the fire of adversity and celebrate life’s challenges.

And devote yourself to a cause, to a Purpose, to an idea that is larger than you.

You are a servant.

Your Soul yearns for more.

Do not shy away from uncertainty.

Face uncertainty with faith in action.

When you feel like you can’t do it alone, like you just can’t keep going – remember that you are Guided by a Power Greater than you.

All is in Divine time.

This isn’t “no.”

This is actually a “not yet.”

And, what is happening right now is a miracle in progress.

Your Soul won’t let you settle for anything less…

This is nothing short of Grace.

Calm your mind. Focus your attention. And let Grace in.

“Always for me, never to me.”

Let Grace in today.

Find the greater YES. Declare your uniqueness. And use it in service to others.

Your gifts are being forged by this.

This is the process of growth, keep it up.

I’m so very proud of you.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

How You Can Be Perfect (Yes, really…)

“Perfection is the child of time.”

– Bishop Joseph Hall

A job well done. Perfection. High standards. The best of the best. Getting it right. Knowing where to start. Knowing your Purpose.

Did you know you can do all of these things… Perfectly?

Imagine what it would feel like to have the perfect plan, the perfect intuition and achieve perfect results.

Would you be in?

After working with tens of thousands of people, seeing who gets the best results and how – I’ve found that there is, indeed, the perfect way to success.

It’s a simple formula that will change your life:

Perfect = listening to your gut + take courageous imperfect action + producing a result + learn from that result + change your approach based on what you’ve learned.

That’s it.

The perfect way to do it perfectly is to make mistakes… fast.

And learn from them.

If you are taking mistakes personally, or believe that you shouldn’t make them, or believe that if you make a mistake something is wrong with you… you are misunderstanding what a mistake is.

You cannot know something before you know it.

To assume that you can is lunacy.

Yes – we want to maintain a level of excellence in our lives.

However, we cannot live at the level of perfection when perfection is defined as being able to flawlessly produce a result that we have never attempted before.

That’s not perfection, that’s the recipe for losing your mind.

The way to be perfect is to embrace the process, to build, to measure and to learn.

Remember, “failure” is not “failure”… “Failure” is simple producing a result.

“Failure” only exists when we give that result a meaning about who we are.

If you think that you are your results, then you don’t know a thing about yourself.

You are not the results that you produce.

You are an Infinite Soul in a human body who is in the process of neverending growth.

To deny yourself to the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them is to deny yourself the opportunity to grow.

And if you want to be unhappy, repressed and eventually depressed – then just stop growing.

Stagnation is the by-product of not allowing yourself to make mistakes.

Being stuck is the by-product of deciding that you are your results and making a decision that your identity is linked with what you did, instead of who you are at a Soul level.

Give up the need to get new tasks, ideas, businesses, relationships and situations perfect.

You’ve never done this before. Stop the insane idea that you have to be perfect before you get started and realize that the perfect way of doing things is getting started before you a ready.

Then… build… measure… learn… repeat.

The formula for perfection is clear…

Perfect = listening to your gut + take courageous imperfect action + producing a result + learn from that result + change your approach based on what you’ve learned.

Give yourself a break and get on the perfect path.

Let yourself make mistakes. Let yourself learn. Keep you standards high.

And for the love of Kale, please be kind to yourself.

You’re growing. You’re learning.

You’ve got this.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

Is It Fear or Intuition? How To Tell The Difference

“Spirituality can release blocks, lead you to ideas, and make your life artful. Sometimes when we pray for guidance, we’re guided in unexpected directions. We may want a lofty answer and we get the intuition to clean our bedroom.”

– Julia Cameron

Do you ever wonder if you’re listening to your intuition? Or to your fear? And does that lack of certainty make you feel like doubting yourself? And does it keep you stuck as a result?

Not a problem.

That makes you human.

So, if you find yourself asking the question, “Is this fear—or is this intuition?” know that you aren’t alone.

Here’s what’s so tricky.

When you follow your intuition, the amount of fear you feel will actually INCREASE.

This means that you may actually be tuning into your intuition and into your fear. In fact, when you live an intuitive life—by its very nature—you’re living in uncertainty and taking daily leaps of faith.

Who wouldn’t be scared of that?

So the real question isn’t about fear vs. intuition. The real question is, “How can you tell the difference between fear that keeps you alive and fear that keeps you stuck?”

Fear that keeps you alive is good. Love that kind of fear. But you probably aren’t constantly in mortal danger. The other kind of fear is what I call…

Survival Patterns™

Survival Patterns™ are unconscious, irrational fears based on past trauma that keep you stuck. And here’s the thing about Survival Patterns™… they’re typically blind spots.

You don’t know that you have them.

So how can you know if you’re listening to a Survival Pattern™ or to a real fear? Ask yourself the following questions:

“Is this a heart-centered and intuitive, “YES”, but also scary?”

You’ll feel the answer. You won’t know it.

99% of what you’re scared of is just old Survival Patterns™. Don’t let them hold you back. To live the intuitive and guided life means that you’ll also be scared.

Following your intuition will produce more fear, but that’s okay.

Courage is the muscle that makes you strong enough to grow.

Have no idea what you’re doing… have it seem almost insignificant and foolish… feel like you’re wandering.

Not all who wander are lost.

You’re in a human body. You’ll feel fear. It ain’t no thang.

Just take one step at a time, and learn to love the feeling of being afraid.

It means you’re growing. It means you’re brave.

And it means you’re putting your faith into action.

And that means you rock!

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

The Challenge of Knowing when to say yes or no

“The way through the challenge is to get still and ask yourself, what is the next right move?”

– Oprah Winfrey

Do you have a hard time figuring out when to say yes and when to say no to an idea, opportunity or next step in your life?

Saying, “no” and being paralyzed by analysis…. analysis paralysis… keeps you stuck.

When you’re stuck, you’re not living your purpose, you’re not growing, and you’re not moving forward in a meaningful way.

If you say yes to too many opportunities or next steps, then you are also stuck because you are just treading water.

So where’s the fine line between the “yes” and the “no”?

Failure is saying no to the right opportunities and yes to the wrong opportunities.

Success comes when you say yes to the right opportunities and no to the wrong ones.

But how can you tell the difference?

Yesterday I sent out a message about Fear vs. Intuition, and it went crazy viral.

That feedback was amazing.

This morning, I read the following question from Jens that asked me to go deeper on a certain part of the message.

Jens said:

“Hi, Mastin! I like the content concerning fear vs. intuition. At the same time: Could you cut the crucial question into two or three pieces, pls!? Thank you! Jens.”

Here’s the part Jens asked about:

“Is this a heart-centered and intuitive, “YES,” but also scary?” You’ll feel the answer. You won’t know it.”

Jens, I hear you.

Let me go deeper and break this down into a few pieces.

1. Define

2. Delineate

3. Decide

#1 – Define

We must first define what “right” and “wrong” situations are.

A “right” opportunity is any situation that allows you to learn, to grow and to improve the quality your life.

A “wrong” opportunity is any situation that prevents you from learning, growing and makes a net negative on your life.

The major difference between “right” and “wrong” is your personal filter of life.

“What does this mean?”

The answer to this question will reveal your “filter”.

Life has the meaning that we give it. Successful people know how to use any situation to learn, grow and improve their lives.

To find a meaning that moves them forward.

This doesn’t mean it will always be pleasant, at least not in the short term.

And it doesn’t mean you accept making the same mistake over and over again.

You’ve got to learn from mistakes and improve your approach.

The “right” decision requires discipline, faith, implementation, courage… and most importantly, patience (especially with yourself).

You can’t know what you don’t know.

So, you’ve got to see your whole life as an experiment.

Take courageous imperfect action and see what happens.

Once you make an attempt, measure the result and keep learning.

If you don’t learn from your mistakes… well that is what Einstein defines as “insanity”.

Doing the same thing over and over again, but thinking something different is going to happen.

Each step of the way, you will have new insights, new learnings and be even clearer on your path. Do not move forward without taking a moment to learn about what outcomes your action has brought you.

Take time once a week to ask:

1. What did I do since last week?

2. What got in the way of my progress?

3. What can be improved?

4. What did I learn?

5. How will I apply this lesson starting now?

If you check in like this regularly, you can stop failure before it starts.

2. Delineate

You must delineate between actual fear and Survival Pattern™ fear.

Remember, Survival Patterns™ are unconscious (or hidden) fears.

Meaning, they are blindspots. You don’t know you have them. They feel familiar in the body. There is a contraction. Blood pressure increases. Tension is there. Adrenaline flows. You can feel like life is threatening you.

Survival Patterns™ are mostly wrong. They think that if you make a decision to live your purpose, to take a risk, that you’ll die.

But, nothing could be further from the truth.

SP’s keep you safe, but they also prevent you from taking the necessary risks you need to take to become who you’re meant to be.

So, you must figure out, is this a Survival Pattern™? Or is this a legitimate fear?

Legit fears are ones like… “Hey, the building is burning down, I should run out of here, now!”

Or, “If I go down that alley way towards that person with a gun, I might get hurt… maybe let’s not do that…”

SP’s are just automatic responses to uncertainty that are keeping you stuck. 99% of fear is a Survival Pattern™.

Your job is to call it’s bluff and to move forward boldly.

3. Decide

You will never know for sure if you’re SP is full of B.S. until you make a decision. Make it a habit of calling B.S. on your Survival Patterns™ on a daily basis.

Assume that your faith will pay off and be detached from “how” it will pay off.

If you feel, in your heart (typically an opening/pulling sensation in your chest and/or solar plexus) that the decision you are about to make it correct – that is important information. However, at the same time… that feeling will produce fear in your body.

Following your intuition creates more fear responses in the body.

That’s just ‘cuz you are doing something new.

So, you can feel free to pop into a Kundalini Yoga class and just… chill.

Most likely, it’s not legit fear. Just Survival Pattern™ fear.

And, if it’s SP fear…. who cares?

You want to follow your heart – literally – with your decisions that you make.

This is why I get still and feel my heart before I make a big decision.

The wonderful Oprah Winfrey was asked recently how to make decisions, her answer?

Get still.

It’s something that you feel. Something that your gut “knows” is right, but the Survival Mind will try to justify and overthink.

Kill your 5, or 10 year plan and just focus on the next 30 days.

What can you do in 30 days to produce a result?

Bring your attention to the present moment. Get still, listen and trust that heart-centered yes.

And, you can even change the meaning of the fear you feel.

Instead of anxiety…. trying calling it…

EXCITEMENT!

You’ve got this Jens. I’m proud of you. Thank you for asking such a great question.

My greatest wish for you is to be obedient to your intuition, to trust it with your actions and to keep a steadfast mindset that all is happening FOR you and not TO you.

Act. Learn. Improve. Repeat.

Don’t wait… go for it!

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

A Letter To Your Inner Critic

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”

– Napoleon Hill

The greatest enemy of your success is being afraid to fail.

In fact, if you aren’t willing to fail, then you aren’t willing to be successful, either.

This is why perfectionism and procrastination are the two major players in why you’re stuck right now.

These two players are the primary voices of your inner critic.

That part of you that… no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do… is still hard on you.

This part of you, this inner critic, does not believe that you’re enough. It sees you try and fail and tells you to stop trying.

Today, I have words for your inner critic… So keep reading.

Having a high standard is one thing… trying to be perfect is…

Well, stupid.

You aren’t perfect.

None of us are.

To be happy, you’ve got to grow. To grow, you’ve got to learn. To learn you’ve got to make mistakes. To make mistakes, you’ve got to fail.

The key is to fail – and fast.

BUT – you must also LEARN from the failure and then immediately change your approach.

Speak to your inner critic for a moment –

Dear inner critic:

Please be nice. Be kind. Have patience. And – please stop being so hard on me for not knowing what I doesn’t know.

I want to grow, to learn and to become more.

I can’t do that if you keep being so freakin’ hard on me.

Give meroom to learn, to try new things and to set new goals.

Look, inner critic… we all mess up. I mess up, too.

Cut me some slack today, and you’ll see that you are safe, you are okay, all is well and that everything is happening in Divine time.

Now back to this message:

Don’t let your inner critic run the show. Be kind to your inner critic.

Celebrate and see success as how much you are learning and growing.

Celebrate mistakes – they are how you learn.

Making and learning from mistakes = success.

This is your permission to fail and to fail fast.

What are you waiting for? Start failing!

And when you fall… just get right back up and ask “What did I learn?”

We all mess up. We all fail. We all fall. The magic is in getting back up.

It’s time to get back up.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

You deserve happiness and freedom

Your life, your freedom, your happiness… are your birthright.

Look no further than the Declaration of Independence, which states:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

This is no small thing. However, we must ask the following three questions:

1. What creates life?

2. What creates liberty?

3. What creates happiness?

For #1 – the Declaration of Independence clearly states there is a Creator.

According to Webster’s dictionary, to create means to “bring into existence.”

You were breathed into existence by a Creator.

For #2 and #3… it is your “unalienable Right” to be free and happy.

What does “unalienable” even mean, though?

Again, according to Websters, the definition of unalienable is “impossible to take away or give up.”

Which means that no one can take away your right to be free and happy… that is…. except YOU.

If you aren’t happy and free… what do we do about it?

The next line in the Declaration of Independence tells us:

“That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government.”

Now… let’s change the words around a little bit to apply directly to YOUR life…

“That to secure these rights, actions are taken by you, deriving their just powers from the consent of your beliefs, — That whenever any Form of belief becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of your Soul to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new belief.”

You see… you are either imprisoned by… or freed by… your own beliefs.

But, what is a belief?

I can decide not to “believe” in gravity… and yet it still exists.

I get it.. perhaps you want to find a way to this line of thinking wrong… which would mean you wouldn’t have to change.

So, for a moment… pause…. and OPEN your mind… and feel me.

Tony Robbins defines a belief as a “feeling of absolute certainty about what something means.”

So… belief = meaning.

What is meaning?

You can think of meaning as your “interpretation” of your life.

So… while we can choose to not believe in gravity… you will experience pain as a result.

So… a “belief” is simply being 100% convinced that your interpretation about life is correct.

And, to be 100% certain of the accuracy of your interpretation about life… is to be foolish.

Just ask any crime scene investigator… time and time again, you can interview multiple witnesses of a crime, and each person will give you a different story or contrary details about what happened.

So, if multiple people can see an event that happened recently differently and not agree on the facts, could you consider that perhaps you’ve remembered a few of the facts inaccurately about your past?

The only thing stopping you from being happy and free is your interpretation of your life.

Is it nothing short of self-evident that you were made by a Creator who intended you be free and happy – these are unalienable Rights.

And… no person outside of yourself can take away those Rights.

When you change your interpretation of what happened… you begin to see that life didn’t happen “to” you… but rather it’s happening “for” you.

When you change the interpretation of your life… you do not change the past… or put on some pollyanna glasses and pretend everything is okay… but… you realize that within every hurt, every setback… every seemingly “bad” thing… is also a lesson… an opportunity to grow and a chance to transmute the pain of your past into serving others.

And… when you do that… you take your power back.

Doing so won’t change the past… but it will change how you relate to the past and thus it will change your present moment and your future.

You are meant to be happy and free.

And you are free at any moment to change your beliefs… to change your meanings… to change your interpretation of what’s happened in the past…

Remember… you have been given the right to happiness and freedom, but it is up to you to CLAIM and CREATE a life where happiness and freedom are your experience.

Coaching Clarity:

Are there interpretations of your past that it’s time to abolish or alter? 

and in doing so… claim your Right to happiness and freedom?

If so… what are they?

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

Get out of your own way and look to the future

Do you ever wonder why you take two steps forward and two steps back?

Or maybe… three steps forward and four steps back?

And… no matter what you do… you feel like you’ve tried “everything” and yet nothing can really click… you aren’t getting the result… you aren’t getting to the next level.

If you’ve ever wondered why you do that… let me explain in simple terms.

A part of you believes that the next level of your success is dangerous.

In fact… this part of you thinks it’s so dangerous that it could possibly kill you… and even your loved ones.

Now… I know that sounds dramatic… and it is.

But… hear me out for a moment. You see – you have a nervous system that has been evolving for millions of years…so your nervous systems is a very powerful and intelligent system that is designed to keep you alive.

Which… is a good thing.

The problem is… the nervous system tends to generalize and associate danger/death and doom with anything that represents a threat.

And… when you are trying to change or improve your life… part of the deal is that you need to do new things.

Try new habits. Let go of a relationship.

Speak up for what you need. Set boundaries. Open your heart.

All of these things are new… and the are uncertain.

And… because they are uncertain… that means that your nervous system interprets anything that is uncertain or that could be a “risk” as the same thing as death.

So… without conscious awareness… without our attention… without bringing in our higher nature…. our scared and terrified nervous system can run the show.

And… without even consciously knowing it… your nervous system can think that breaking up with your jerk boyfriend is just as dangerous as being cast out and banished from a tribe to live by and fend for yourself in the desert.

Or… the nervous system can think that quitting your job and starting a business that you love will kill you…

Or that losing the weight and being “see” is lethal…

Or that opening your heart up and loving again will result in the same pain or worst from the past… and that you will die if you experience that kind of pain again.

It’s not a bad thing that your nervous system is trying to keep you safe.

The hard part is that while the nervous system thinks that anything that is uncertain or risky will lead to certain death and it will do anything it can to protect you…

This also means that any risk or uncertainty that is required to love again, start a business, lose the weight, forgive someone or change your life is also seen as a threat by your nervous system.

As a result… your nervous system doesn’t want you taking any risks… risks that could hurt you…. and risks that could help you change your life.

So, the practice must be… to bring your conscious awareness to your life… and to work to send messages to your nervous system that you are safe… and that it’s okay for you to take risks that your heart… your soul…. and your Creator is nudging you to take.

Starting your dream business won’t kill you.

Opening your heart again and loving someone won’t kill you.

Letting go of trying to control others won’t kill you.

Living your Purpose won’t kill you.

But, when you deny the yearnings of your heart…. when you deny the yearnings of your soul… when you deny the calling of that greater destiny that you know you are meant to live…

You commit slow/passive suicide every day.

Because while our ancestors were focused on primarily just surviving…. we get the privilege to have our basic needs met and shift our focus to thriving… and living in our Purpose.

You owe it to your children, parents, loved ones…. all those who came before you… all those who died to create freedom for you in the past… all those who laid their life on the line for your freedom and all those who are still not able to have the privilege to live their Purpose to dedicate YOUR life to living your Purpose.

When you discover your Purpose… when you bring it to life… you give others hope through not just your words… but your EXAMPLE that they, too – can be free.

Your Purpose won’t kill you – it will bring your greatest dreams to life.

Call B.S. on the survival fear of your nervous system and get busy taking risks.

Your future self will be glad you did.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!

Four Steps To break free from patterns that hold you back

Do you have some habit, pattern or behavior that you do over and over again, and no matter what… it seems like it’s almost impossible to break?

Maybe it’s stuffing your face with ice cream (gluten free, of course).

Maybe it’s another failed romantic relationship attempt.

Maybe it’s an addiction.

Maybe you keep giving your power away.

Maybe you’ve had the same fight over and over again and want to stop.

Whatever it is… most of us have at least one, if not more, old patterns in our life that don’t do us any good.

So, how do we break ’em? It can feel impossible, but let me assure you, it’s not.

You can break free from the patterns that hold you back.

And when you do, you step into a whole new kind of world.

A world of greater learning, greater abundance, greater Love, joy and yes, greater purpose.

Over the past few weeks I’ve received many replies from the community that is asking the same question:

How Do I Break Old Survival Patterns™ (SP’s) that hold me back?

If you’ve been wondering this, today, I’m going to give you the map.

The short answer is this:

To break any old SP, you need a pattern interrupt.

And if you aren’t sure what an SP is – let me define it for you:

A Survival Pattern™ is an unconscious (fancy word for hidden, like you, don’t know you have it) and irrational (meaning, it makes no logical sense) fear that is based on past trauma that prevents you from moving forward.

SP’s can be felt in the body. SP’s are an automatic response to any uncertainty or stress.

We’ve all experienced trauma in our lives, which, essentially is a wound created by emotional isolation and being physical, emotionally or mentally unsafe.

The stereotypical thinking about trauma is that it’s only trauma if it’s extreme – like physical abuse, for example.

However, trauma is not just for those extreme examples.

We all experience trauma on different scales.

And to the brain, trauma is trauma.

So, it’s a common mistake to think that other people’s “trauma” is more significant or valid than yours.

Don’t go there. The way you feel is valid.

So, how do we break a traumatic SP that is almost an automatic and unconscious response in our brain and body?

Pro tip: It’s vital to move through these steps quickly. Otherwise you run the risk of your SP’s running you. The goal is not to indulge your SP, but rather break it… So, make it your intention to keep moving through the steps.

Step 1 – Identify The Pattern

The first step is admitting you have an SP.

Late night binge eating. Overspending. Toxic relationship. Whatever it is, the first thing you must do is say:

THIS PATTERN EXISTS

It can feel scary to do this because we have been falsely trained to believe that if we admit to our SP’s – then that will make things worse.

Not acknowledging your SP is like putting duct tape over your fuel gauge in your car and pretending you won’t run out of fuel if you don’t see the light. So, admit you have it.

Where is it? What does it feel like in your body? How familiar is this feeling? And then move on to Step 2.

Step 2 – Acknowledge The Pattern.

Pattern’s start to die when they are acknowledged. When you say… “AHA – there you are!” SP’s be like… “Who, me?” And, they tend to lessen.

The difference between acknowledging and identifying is that identification is about becoming aware that you even have an SP…

Acknowledgment is giving it your attention and saying hello.

Give your SP a name, other than your own.

For me, I call one of my SP’s “Rod The Fraud” – when I feel like I’m a fraud and not enough. (Yup, that still happens.)

And, you don’t want to stay in the SP too long, though.

If you find yourself mostly talking about the SP, and seeking out other people to validate it, then you are keeping yourself stuck.

Acknowledgment is essential, but we must also keep moving to the next step to break the pattern.

Remember, SP’s hold you back.

Don’t put them in the driver’s seat, just let them know you see them and love them.

Step 3 – Neutralize The Pattern

Next up, now that we know that you do in fact have an SP and you’ve named it.

Now, it’s time to neutralize it. It’s easy to want to forget this step and just keep going.

The neutralization of the SP means you have to grow.

And, it means you get to “kill” your SP. And your SP will resist this.

This is where the phrase “Old Patterns Die Hard” come from… Or… “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

Patterns can be strong. And there is only way to neutralize them.

You must override the pattern with an equal or greater emotional experience.

You cannot do this on the level of thinking.

Repeat, you cannot THINK your way out of an SP.

You must feel your way out of it.

There are all kinds of ways to do this.

For me, the SP of wanting to stuff my face with caramel popcorn or cinnamon rolls starts to surface around 7/8pm and lasts til about 9:30 pm.

So, instead of just white knuckling it, I ask my SP… like literally… “What do you need right now?”

Typically, the answer is something like, “To feel safe.”

I know I have a “witching hour” in the evening.

So, I design my day to interrupt that SP with a more powerful positive emotional experience.

It could be a massage, a Kundalini Yoga class, meditation…

Recently I’ve discovered the awesome experience of “Escape Rooms” (OMG!) and have gone during the witching hour.

It is a pattern interrupt on an emotional level, designed at the time of day that the SP tends to rear it’s head.

Also, I have an old SP that thinks that on the weekends I “deserve” to go to town on “treat meal.”

Especially on Friday and Saturday nights.

So, I am mindful of how I spend those nights.

In fact, a big measure of how healthy I am is based on the quality of my Friday and Saturday nights.

So, I put a BIG focus on those evenings of the week and making sure I design emotional pattern interrupts into my routine.

Other ways to break the pattern on an emotional level are:

Kundalini Yoga, EMDR, Escape Rooms, Massage, Meditation, going to a 12-Step Meeting, being in nature, getting a life coach, a therapist, going on a retreat or attending a seminar.

You want to neutralize the SP on the emotional level. That’s how you override it.

Then, move on to Step 4.

Step 4 – Turn the SP into an act of Love and Purposeful Work

SP’s in the body are basically parts of ourselves that hold trauma and are underdeveloped. It’s as if are bodies are screaming for attention and healing.

One of the best ways to heal your SP’s long term is to serve others.

I started by first blog, The Daily Love, with a ton of anger energy.

I was mad at a former business partner for what I thought and believed at the time was a Soul level betrayal.

Instead of channeling my energy into taking him down or focusing on how “screwed over” I felt… I decided to serve others.

I channeled my anger into purposeful works of Love.

Use the energy of your SP’s and direct it to help others.

Donate your time. Write a blog. Call a friend in need. Forgive your family. Find someone to help.

The old saying goes, “If you’re feeling helpless, help someone.”

Nothing is quite as healing as helping to alleviate the suffering of others.

This is the power of 12-Steps, group coaching courses like Claim Your Power and other community driven programs.

And, you don’t need to wait to have a million followers to help someone.

Literally, help the next person you see.

Offer to buy their groceries, or give them a smile or compliment.

There is no shortage of the need for kindness and being of service today.

And, be unconditionally kind.

Not just to people like you. Be kind to those you would normally judge (yes, I know you judge other people, still… that’s okay… break the pattern).

If you open your eyes, you will see at least ten opportunities right in front of you.

OK – so….

Those are the Four Steps to breaking a Survival Pattern™ – those pesky patterns that hold you back.

Now it’s over to you…

 

Breaking an SP is a process. So, be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself and strive to make small baby steps each day.

Your mantra today is…. one step at a time.

Baby steps.

Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!