There is one bad habit human beings have that hold them back from living the life they want – and it’s something that we all have in one form or another.
What is this dream blocking bad habit?
It’s the need to be right. Imagine how free your life would be if you didn’t need to be right.
What if you didn’t need to be right in disagreements? What if you didn’t need the last word? What if you didn’t need to get other people on board with how you think things should be? What if you could give up the need to be right?
So much time and precious energy is wasted on the need to be right.
Human beings have an addiction to being right.
The question is, why?
The survival programming in us believes that if we admit we are wrong, then we will die.
It sounds insane when it’s put that way, but it’s true.
Think about the last disagreement or argument you had… and be honest, did you need to be right?
Did you need to have the last word? Did you really listen, or did you wait for your turn to speak and interject your opinion and manipulate the facts so that you were “right.”
Being right – when that need is there… and you are triggered… is never operating from a place of true power.
The need to be right is the need of the limbic survival system.
What if you didn’t need to be “right” in the eyes of others?
What if you could win an argument by allowing the other person to be “right”?
What if you could simply listen to what others have to say and attempt to step into their experience and understand it, even if you don’t agree with it?
You can understand how and why someone feels the way they do without agreeing with them.
And, a funny thing happens when you simply listen to someone and empathize with their experience (which is not the same thing as agreeing)…
The fight tends to end.
The disagreement tends to die down. The tension goes away.
How can you do this?
First, calm yourself down.
Go for a walk.
Take a yoga class.
Calm down your nervous system.
Then, set your intention to simply listen to whomever you are in a disagreement with.
Get curious about their experience without agreeing or trying to fix anything.
Ask questions about why they feel this way and try to get to the underlying emotion.
Then, repeat back what you heard them say… using their words and ask if you missed anything.
They may clarify and share more… then reflect that back.
This simple listening exercise… and surrendering the need to be right will create positive change in all your relationships.
You don’t need to fix them. You don’t need to fix the problem. You don’t need to be right.
Set your intention to understand. Get curious. Ask questions. Dive deeper. Reflect back what you heard.
And – you can understand how someone is feeling…. without agreeing with them.
And, you can agree they feel and believe what they do, without agreeing with the conclusions they’ve come to about why they feel that way.
They are their own person.
And so are you.
Needing to be right is a strategy that will leave you alone… and without any meaningful relationships.
Cultivating an ability to listen and empathize is a master skill when it comes to be successful in love and in life.
Are you ready to give up the need to be right?
What positive changes could happen if you did?
Reply back and let me know.
Remember to get out there, take action and make it real!